Rap songs so whack they're hilarious

Y'know after I saw that Mr. Jigglyfly Geico commercial, I was wondering, what are some beats that y'all think are whack but can't resist listening to them cuz they cracked you up real bad at one point?

>Bling Bling ($$$ Records)
>Anything Ying Yang Twins (especially Ya Ya Ya and Whistle While U Twurk)EDIT: I almost got into a terrible automobile wreck because of those 2 imbeciles. My post about it is further down.
>Chicken Head (Project pat)
>Big Ballin Wit My Homies (E-40)
>Sippin on some Sizzerp (Project Pat)
>Break Ya Neck (Busta Rhymes)

I can't remember the name of it, but there was this one song that Puff Daddy did (or maybe it was P'diddy - who fucking cares anyway). Anyway, it showed him like jumping over crap on a dirtbike, and had him saying shit like "we can't be stopped now", and "bad boys for life".

That was the stupidest fucking beat I've ever heard. It was like a crackhead trying to play a kazoo or something. Me and my buddy still laugh at it to this day.

I don't listen to much WACKed out Hip/Hop Rap myself but I am loyal to the following tunes...

"Ruff Ryder's Anthem"
"Money Ain't A Thang." (Jay Z & Jermanie Dupri)
"California Love!" (Tupac/Dr. Dre)
"What's My Name?" (DMX)
"Make A Move." (DMX)
"The Professional." (DMX)
"Be My Dirty Love." (Too Short)
"Jump Around." (House of Pain)
"They Forgot About Dre." (EMINEM & Dr. Dre)
"Horny Little Devil." (ICE CUBE)
"Fuck Tha' Police." (N.W.A.)
"Die Mothefucker, Die Motherfucker Kill!" (Ghetto Boys)
"Straight Outta' Compton." (N.W.A.)
"Welcome To The TerrorDrome!" (Public Enemy)
"Return of the Mack." (Mark Morrison)
"We Be Clubbin' " (ICE CUBE, & others w. Eye of the Tiger Remix)
"Human Beat Box." (Fat Boys)
"Can You Feel It." (Fat Boys)
"Cool As ICE!" (Vanilla ICE / Rob Van Winkle)
"Let me fly." (DMX)
"ATF" (DMX)
"Shake Yor Ass!" (Mystikal)
"Danger!" (Mystikal)
"Fear of a Black Planet" (Public Enemy)



MERCENARY X99

"Girl, holla at the woahdy (how the fudge do I spell that word?) if you want that Oscar Mayer"

That song about Cadillacs and Chevy Caprices that's all like "Big bodies big wheels. Big bodies big wheels. Lacs and prices! Lacs and prices!" The way he emphasizes the long E sound in "price" (pronounced like preece as in the car Caprice) is just hilarious. If I hear that song I crack up.

Damn why is Dirty South rap such a blast to make fun of???

Rubber Band Man's beat cracks me up, 2004's already started and that's the first to be nominated for the worst beat of the year.

One time Ya Ya Ya almost made me swerve and hit a tree cracking up at it while driving. I was listening to the radio on one of those morning talk shows, I wasn't paying attention to the skits they were doing, then after it was over, there was a profound silence for like 5 or 7 seconds. Then all of a sudden that rickety rick stone-age voice going "she got my hands up on her knees...." just caught me off guard and spontaneously had me cracking up! for a second I lost control of the wheel and almost hit a tree.

Actually some WHACKY songs have come to mind in my sleep, here they are:

"B Girls" (don't remember the artist anymore early 1990)
---Lyrics were something like: "When ain't trying to make a joke, we're just tryin' to make it known, that the people of the world that we call B GIRLS!" sumthin like that anyhow. Real weird song but it was popular for most of my 6th Grade year age 12 in 1990.

"Jingle Jangle With da' Poor" (Doug E. Fresh & Co. circa mid 80's)
---Lyrics:

"Ho, Ho, Ho, open up yor doors. I'm santa clause and guess what ya'll I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SHOW. I came to bring some Christmas spirit I got a big bag now guess what's in it, some for the rich and some for the po, so merry Christmas and Ho, Ho, Ho!

...HO HO HO MERRY XMAS my foot, I'm tell you what santa really put, under my so called tree but in reality looks like nothing but a decorated poll to me. If you talk about a tree it makes me wanna' cause I never had a tree to put anything under, if I ever did look up and git a tree, there was never under it anything for me man. ...man you'll should be glad that I didn't quit cause I'm gettin' to old for this Santa Clause shit, you'll think I'm gettin' presents made for free, I got ta pay dem bills man, ain't nobody payin' me!

"You big fat whale you might as well quit, cause I can name a hundred presents that I didn't get, and if I did get a present it be a hand-me-down. And I don't even have a chimmeny for you to come down so we don't need you to be coming around, cause the last santa that came in with a sack, wasn't givin' out presents he was takin' em' back. Me and my brothers can't go out at the same time, cause the coats that theirs is that coats that's mine.
I know one thing you better get off my neck, and wait to you get your welfare check, goin' down to the office and standing in line, better hurry up D I got mine!

JINGLE, JANGLE, a Jiggle jangle wit da' po. SAY IT! Jingle jangle a jiggle janle wit da' po. HO, HO, HO, Doug E. Fresh go home!

That's why the presents keep gettin' mixed up, and now I know why cause your always drunk.. that ain't a G.I. JOE that's a G.I. JERK... with a Kung Fu Grip that don't even work, so all I did was just put him away cause my G.I. JOE looks G.I. GAY!

...that's why you don't get presents now, cause you just an ingrate, G.I. JOE's gay what difference does it make, I mean he's just a doll there ain't much he can do, you ask me boy I ain't too sure about you!"

MEMORIES THERE BRO, I REPRESENT THAT SONG by pulling out an old MAXELL Cassette Tape and get everyone rolling with Doug E. Fresh & Co.

MERCENARY X99

That's why the presents keep gettin' mixed up, and now I know why cause your always drunk.. that ain't a G.I. JOE that's a G.I. JERK... with a Kung Fu Grip that don't even work, so all I did was just put him away cause my G.I. JOE looks G.I. GAY!

Click to expand...

LOL! That shit is in Beat Street!

galfordo said:

I can't remember the name of it, but there was this one song that Puff Daddy did (or maybe it was P'diddy - who fucking cares anyway). Anyway, it showed him like jumping over crap on a dirtbike, and had him saying shit like "we can't be stopped now", and "bad boys for life".

That was the stupidest fucking beat I've ever heard. It was like a crackhead trying to play a kazoo or something. Me and my buddy still laugh at it to this day.

Click to expand...

The Song is called "Bad Boy For Life".

I think T.I's beat for "Rubber Band Man" is weird but it ain't bad.

I wouldn't rule it as whack, but "Insane in the Brain" (Cypress Hill) is still a funny ass song. I remember when the traveling carnival came to our town, I rode the Gravitron (you know that ride that looks like a UFO with all those lights flashing where the gravity pushes everybody against the wall as the room spins) they played Insane on the ride, and even lyrics fit the atmosphere perfectly.

"The lights are blinking"

"making my mind slow"

That's what the ride does to ya.

Camron and the whole Dipset let some of the wackest rhymes come out their mouths if what they be saying even rhymes.

Around 1997-1998 or so, "Southwest Riders" by E-40, B-Legit, and Richie Rich used to crack me up every time I heard it. The E-40 shit at the beginning is totally unhinged and nuts.

"E-40, I'm your biggest fan, all I listen to is you, Maxwell, and Erykah Badu!"

Speaking of David banner, what is that joint where he's actually trying to sing? He singing about 22's or some shit like that. The first few times I heard the song it was nothing, but when I realized it was David Banner, I was on the floor suffocating.

"Lucas with the Lid Off" is always good for a laugh. Totally one-hit wonder MTV bullshit with terrible rhymes, but there's still something about it...

Ah some other funny shit,

Cash Money records always had me cracking up in some way.

When Lil Wayne and BG get on the mic it's over!

breal said:

Camron and the whole Dipset let some of the wackest rhymes come out their mouths if what they be saying even rhymes.

Click to expand...

Dipset is the future of Roc-A-Fella!

Speaking of David banner, what is that joint where he's actually trying to sing? He singing about 22's or some shit like that. The first few times I heard the song it was nothing, but when I realized it was David Banner, I was on the floor suffocating.

Click to expand...

The song was called "Cadillac On 22's" and I liked that song. I'm surpraise you didn't say anything about Bone Crusher yet.

Damn I forgot all about Bone Crusher.

ATTEN CHUUUUUUUN!!!!

TOM GREEN The Bum Bum Song.

He knew it was whack, thats why he did it.

Bum Bum Song Lyrics

My bum is on the rail
Bum is on the rail
Look at Me
My bum is on the rail
My bum is on a man
Bum is on a man
It's alot of fun to put your bum on a man
My bum is on a step
Bum is on a step
Don't fall down the steps you might hurt your bum!
(Insane Laughter)
And thats not very fun
If you fall down and hurt your bum
I like to put my bum on things
It's fun for everyone

My bum is on the cheese
Bum is on the cheese
If I get lucky I'll get a disease!
My bum is on the Swedish
Swedish, Swedish, Swedish
My bum is on the gum
My bum is on the gum
I can blow a bubble with my bum bum bum
My bum is on the ship
The battleship
I hope they don't shoot the cannon in my bum
I'd shoot POO all over the place
POO POO!!

Cause that isn't very fun
When they shoot a cannon in your bum
I like to put my bum on things
it's fun for everyone
My bum is on the dog
My bum is on the cat
My bum is on the phone
My bum is all alone......

The rail is all alone
The man is all alone
The Swedish is all alone
My bum...is all alone....
(Loo in the background)

1,2,3,4
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
Get the poo off my bum!
I need the POO off my BUM!!
I've go to get the poopoo off my bum
I want to hear the cannon! (Loon in the background)
No, let me hear the cannon! (Loon in the background)
NO NO NO, no, not the loon!
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
I WANNA HEAR THE CANNON!
I WANNA HEAR THE CANNON!
I WANNA HEAR THE CANNON NOT THE LOON!
(Cannon Explodes)

Yea! The cannon!
Now get the poo off my bum coo coo
I want the poo-poo off my bum bum...
(Whining)Can I hear the loon again, too.

Bump! More whack-iness.

"slow jamz" i can't remember who does it, but i swear there's a line in that song that goes: "she gonna pull my manrod, while i put on some vandross."

Any rap song by Dub-C. Sounds like circus music.

There's something about E-40's beats he had on his "Charlie Hustle" album. They're just TOO PIMPED OUT!

Kim _Kaphwan said:

"slow jamz" i can't remember who does it, but i swear there's a line in that song that goes: "she gonna pull my manrod, while i put on some vandross."

Click to expand...

Twista.

i only remember the line
She had a light skinned friend look klike Michael jackson, She had a dark skinned friend look like Michael jackson.

Kim _Kaphwan said:

"slow jamz" i can't remember who does it, but i swear there's a line in that song that goes: "she gonna pull my manrod, while i put on some vandross."

Click to expand...

"She said she wants some marvin gaye, some Luther Vandross"

Oh yeah the Slow Jams hook:

"She wants some Marvin Gaye
Some Luther Vandross
A little Anita (Anita baker)
to get this party started alright.
She wants some Ready for the World
Some New Edition
Some Minnie Riperton...forgot the rest"