Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Serious)

This thread is for discussion of OCD. And please, no "this is a video game forum!!!111". I know what it is and that's why this topic is in unrelated. And please, no flames. If you don't have anything real to add, don't say anything. I want this to be a serious discussion.

When did you get it? What things do you do that are obsessive-compulsive? How do you live with it? What have you done to treat it (if anything) and how has that worked? Does it seemed like it is linked to depression?

I'll go first, of course.

First of all, I have never been diagnosed with OCD. But I am almost certain I do have it based on what I've read. It started when I was in my junior year of high school... I was very lazy before this... my parents were upset with my because my grades weren't so hot and they knew I could do better (I had done very well before) and I knew I could do better. Suddenly I turned my life around completey, became a perfectionist, extreme type A, always worried about every little thing...

But there was even more to it than that. I knew something was wrong because some of the things I was doing made absolutely no sense. But there was no stopping it. It was completely out-of-control. And it was PAINFUL. It took me two hours to get ready in the morning because I had to clean EVERYTHING. My showers were typically a half-hour long. I would spend 15 minutes trying to line my TV antenna so the it was exactly parallel with one of the walls in my room. I was PARANOID about germs and dirt. I washed my hands so much that they became so dried that my skin cracked and bled. I would spend a half-hour putting my shoes away because they had to be in exact positions. I counted things (number of letters in a word, number of times I breathed, etc) even though there was nothing to gain from it. I didn't step on cracks in the sidewalk. I would check things over and over again. It would take me literally an entire day to clean my room because everything had to be just so (and orthogonal). I even used a ruler to measure where things should go on my desk. I felt like I always had to be in control of everything in my life. I couldn't stand it if something wasn't just right to me.

This went on for awhile. Eventually I realized it had to end, because it was eating my time alive and it certainly wasn't healthy. But I didn't want to see a doctor, because I didn't want to be labeled as unusual/problematic. I finally convinced myself to stop doing the crazier shit. This was NOT easy by any means. I got better, and I thought I had it under control. But it never went away completely. I still take cleaning and organization much farther than the average person. When I get tired and/or stressed, some of the other compulsions return, mainly counting and not walking on cracks.

But the worst thing is that it creates severe problems with the girl I love. She says I worry too much about every little thing and get concerned over nothing. And she is right, I DO dwell, and even obsess, on any little thing that I think has a remote chance of being wrong concerning the relationship. And I don't mean just sometimes - I mean all day. I probably bother her too much. She tried to help me by telling me one thing I did that she thought was O-C, and I got defensive because I disagreed with her on the one example. I shouldn't have because she was only trying to help. She asked me if I thought about seeing a doctor... and I told her that I had, but that I thought I had it under control. She said she didn't think I did have it under control, and that she doesn't see how it could have been worse before. I don't know, or at least I don't realize, what I do that is that bad around her, but I took her suggestion to heart and I did see a doctor last week. Maybe there is something about her that brings back some of the behaviors I used to have and I don't realize it. I told the doctor that I was depressed (which I have been for months) and also that I think I had OCD. He gave me some samples of Zoloft, which he said would help both problems. This is why I asked earlier if the two problems seem to be linked.

The medicine hasn't taken full affect yet, but I have been feeling more indifferent in the last few days. Better, but I wouldn't say I'm feeling good. I also feel like thoughts are racing through my head at times, but I don't know what the thoughts are. I am also more interested in sex. Speaking of which, I noticed that Prozac is the same type of medicine (SRI).

That's my story, and that's where I am now. Who can relate? Who's next?

Time and understanding from your partner and a lot of efforts on your side should help.

My wife sorta has some OCDs like washing hands all the time (carrying sanitizer for after she touches a door outise our apt., and a lot of other stuff like not eating a crumb if it falls even on our appartment table...).

In any case I usually overexagerate her OCDs by mimicking them... kinda pissed her off a little at first but she now takes it more easily and laughs, it makes her realize how extreme she can be and she will now eat crumbs out of the table

I am also sometimes making a mess in purpose (like changing the DVDs from their alphabetical order on the shelf), at first she'll always put them back in alphabetical order... now she is just so fed up with it that she'll leave them like I put them (unless Amadeus ends up between Charlie's Angels Full Throlle and Big Trouble In Little China... then she'll change it back right away).

In any case moving with me is what made her lose her most annoying OCDs. She still has some but I can leave with it (She does not trust me to do the dishes so she redo them after me... I basically just gave up and she does it all
)

Another way is for you to tape yourself and look at it with trusted friends and make fun of it... should help you relativise.

Thanks for the reply.

I used to have problems with touching door knobs also...

Anyone else?

I think most people who post here have OCD.

Inserts, manuals, ect...

I have 'Scrupulosity'.

The major problem with ocd is how it makes simple tasks seemingly impossible. Sufferers set up destructive standards. (Mine happen to be religious and moral) These kind of things I can never meet, and I am learning to help myself understand how much I blow stuff up. Cognitive therapy would definately help you. You sound worse then I do, as your condition is interfering with normal life.
They have found OCD is correlated to really smart people, because the ability to analyze things is like three fold in some individuals. This makes accepting things very hard for someone with OCD.

I search into the details and moral inclinations to what I do.
I had more issues when I was a kid. (Onset at like 10 years old) I've gotten better over time.
If you have other stress disorders this ties right in.

I did get a chance to talk to another OCD person, we discussed historal events in the world for hours it seemed. I find it funny that other sufferers are people I can connect with the most. Its like looking into a mirror, its really crazy.
Never had a conversation to match that one.
I dont have issues with cleaning or extreme arranging, but the moral dilemma is where the fun is. Yes, nobody could ever tell by being around me.

I recall a quote. "They referred to this as 'the hidden disease', because most patients didnt want to talk about it."
I dont take any medication as I am a mild case over all. Wont do so in the future either.

Magnaflux said:

I think most people who post here have OCD.

Inserts, manuals, ect...

Click to expand...

Could agree more!

Thanks for all the replies so far, notably LWK's. I know this may seem an odd palce to discuss this, but I find that often people are willing to open up more on the Internet than anywhere else.

RiotoftheBlood said:

When did you get it? What things do you do that are obsessive-compulsive? How do you live with it? What have you done to treat it (if anything) and how has that worked? Does it seemed like it is linked to depression?

Click to expand...

Since a serious question was asked I'll give a serious answer. I infact do suffer from OCD as well as Bipolar Disorder Type 2 (over active brain) as well as dyslexia, as I see numbers and even letter backwards at times, and it can be quite the butt kicker in a relationship with a woman as well as being forced to have to deal with yourself on a 24/7/365 basis.

#1> Growing up I didn't know I had a problem. But I always had it, it wasn't diagonsed until I was 14. Now I drive everyone crazy because I'll check to see if a door is locked 15 times before leaving, even though I consciously know it's locked... my sub-consciouss brain (however that word is spelled) still tells me to check it. This extends to having to read over my own address or numbers in something again, and again, and again... finally having someone else APPROVE IT... otherwise I'll never get anything done. Thus this is mostly the reason that Mathematics isn't a subject I can ever be truly good at past the baiscs in which to get by. Because my sub-conscious brain cannot except either A> Why does such and such equal such and such? OR B> What difference does it make how I come to a conclusion if the answer is ultimately right? Thus I have never been able to finish college nor can I work for businesses as a normal employee, I had to learn to make myself indespensible to others and make them "hire" me on an Independent Contractor / Mercenary / Consutant basis. Which is how I live actually.

#2> What have I done to treat it? I'm currently on two different medications (that I'd rather not be on) One is Seroquel which is only used at the smallest dose 25mg to numb my brain so that I pass out literally and go to sleep. Otherwise my sub-conscious brain is still going full tilt even though my body is tired, and I'll be awake for 73 hours straight until I'd pass out or simply die from exhaustion. The other med I'm on is at the smallest dosage called Klonopin. I wasn't on that med until a sudden heart attack I had in May of 2002 which led me to have to sell my AES and 36 games to Robert Wallace of these forums in which to pay off my medical bills. Apparently it was stemmed to the Bipolar/OCD, and I'm anxious without knowing it. Thus if I don't take it (in fact I have to take it in five minutes) then I could become over anxious about something, and then I could end up with an anxiety attack, that more or less brought on my heart attack. Which is not fun I tell you. I realize the meds help level me out, but both medications did the one thing the medical community assures you it will not do, and that is it is habbit forming, AND it gives you a stigmatism against you in the work force. They say it doesn't but it does. I am fully functional, understand right from wrong, I just happen to OVER ANALYZE things due to OCD, and get anxious if something isn't done to a standard of prefection I understand (generally MIL-SPEC) having grown up a military brat. Seroquel puts me to sleep, but I can under extreme circumstance wake up and be active with the adrenaline rush. Tried to enlist into the MARINES and was told, "It doesn't matter that your ASVAB is a 90, and you're fit to come in right now. If you're on a med to help you sleep the military won't take you."

So much for not having a stigmatism. Bastards wouldn't even let me show them how proficent I am, or the amount of military knowledge and execution of that knowledge that I live and breathe as a civilian. WHY? Red tape is why. Official documentations of what a person is supposed to be like of a set standard. and that lead us to question

#3> How do I live?

Well military uniformity is the only way for me to make sense of my life. I'm a total slob unless I'm allowed to have everything in total uniformity. Thus now a married man, my wife and I are on the rocks as neither of us can escape one another. I love her and she loves me, but sometimes I just blow up because I get frustrated that everyone (at least to me) around me doesn't take life or things seriously enough. But that's the OCD at work. She complained recently about me not helping clean up the apartment and I responded. "If you're going to find fault with how I clean or do things then you can do it all your damn self." Now that's not the right attitude to have, but you did ask about this so I'm elaborating here. Because when I clean, the pantry is uniformed with all labels facing outward and sized appropirately. The bed is to MARINE Corps standard... NO LINT on kitchen surfaces is tolerated. A person should only have extra plates for guests. A person only needs ONE plate, a set of eating utencils and you wash them immediately upon finishing your meal. Clean whatever was used to prepare the meal immediately. This way no pile up in the sink. Dishwashers are a no-no... it is to be washed by hand and scrubbed in hot sudsy water. You know it's clean that way, etcetera, etcetera. It's for this reason that someone with OCD (in my case it's all military) can cause a bit of grief to someone without it, or two people with it and you've got a battlefield.

So if you're having problems with it, or symptoms of it all I can say is that you need some form of medication, but don't be surprised if being on it brings along some problems in other areas of your life. It takes a strong willed woman to stand by someone with these issues, and you suffering from it have to make other people understand that you are hardwired that way, and that you try your best to overcome it in a manner that makes sense to you. They don't have to like it, they can deal with it, or choose to be an asshole like most of the collective majority who think their shit doesn't stink, but probably have some sort of mental problem their self righteous selves. Beyond this I don't know what more to say man. If you really want to talk further about it, send me a PM so it's not so out in the open. Sometimes helping others helps me with my problems.

Sincerely... MERCENARY X99

Magnaflux said:

I think most people who post here have OCD.

Inserts, manuals, ect...

Click to expand...

People with OCD feel about every aspect of their life like the people here feel about their NGH games.

Re: Re: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (Serious)

Mercenary X99 said:

Since a serious question was asked I'll give a serious answer. I infact do suffer from OCD as well as Bipolar Disorder Type 2 (over active brain) as well as dyslexia, as I see numbers and even letter backwards at times, and it can be quite the butt kicker in a relationship with a woman as well as being forced to have to deal with yourself on a 24/7/365 basis.

#1> Growing up I didn't know I had a problem. But I always had it, it wasn't diagonsed until I was 14. Now I drive everyone crazy because I'll check to see if a door is locked 15 times before leaving, even though I consciously know it's locked... my sub-consciouss brain (however that word is spelled) still tells me to check it. This extends to having to read over my own address or numbers in something again, and again, and again... finally having someone else APPROVE IT... otherwise I'll never get anything done. Thus this is mostly the reason that Mathematics isn't a subject I can ever be truly good at past the baiscs in which to get by. Because my sub-conscious brain cannot except either A> Why does such and such equal such and such? OR B> What difference does it make how I come to a conclusion if the answer is ultimately right? Thus I have never been able to finish college nor can I work for businesses as a normal employee, I had to learn to make myself indespensible to others and make them "hire" me on an Independent Contractor / Mercenary / Consutant basis. Which is how I live actually.

#2> What have I done to treat it? I'm currently on two different medications (that I'd rather not be on) One is Seroquel which is only used at the smallest dose 25mg to numb my brain so that I pass out literally and go to sleep. Otherwise my sub-conscious brain is still going full tilt even though my body is tired, and I'll be awake for 73 hours straight until I'd pass out or simply die from exhaustion. The other med I'm on is at the smallest dosage called Klonopin. I wasn't on that med until a sudden heart attack I had in May of 2002 which led me to have to sell my AES and 36 games to Robert Wallace of these forums in which to pay off my medical bills. Apparently it was stemmed to the Bipolar/OCD, and I'm anxious without knowing it. Thus if I don't take it (in fact I have to take it in five minutes) then I could become over anxious about something, and then I could end up with an anxiety attack, that more or less brought on my heart attack. Which is not fun I tell you. I realize the meds help level me out, but both medications did the one thing the medical community assures you it will not do, and that is it is habbit forming, AND it gives you a stigmatism against you in the work force. They say it doesn't but it does. I am fully functional, understand right from wrong, I just happen to OVER ANALYZE things due to OCD, and get anxious if something isn't done to a standard of prefection I understand (generally MIL-SPEC) having grown up a military brat. Seroquel puts me to sleep, but I can under extreme circumstance wake up and be active with the adrenaline rush. Tried to enlist into the MARINES and was told, "It doesn't matter that your ASVAB is a 90, and you're fit to come in right now. If you're on a med to help you sleep the military won't take you."

So much for not having a stigmatism. Bastards wouldn't even let me show them how proficent I am, or the amount of military knowledge and execution of that knowledge that I live and breathe as a civilian. WHY? Red tape is why. Official documentations of what a person is supposed to be like of a set standard. and that lead us to question

#3> How do I live?

Well military uniformity is the only way for me to make sense of my life. I'm a total slob unless I'm allowed to have everything in total uniformity. Thus now a married man, my wife and I are on the rocks as neither of us can escape one another. I love her and she loves me, but sometimes I just blow up because I get frustrated that everyone (at least to me) around me doesn't take life or things seriously enough. But that's the OCD at work. She complained recently about me not helping clean up the apartment and I responded. "If you're going to find fault with how I clean or do things then you can do it all your damn self." Now that's not the right attitude to have, but you did ask about this so I'm elaborating here. Because when I clean, the pantry is uniformed with all labels facing outward and sized appropirately. The bed is to MARINE Corps standard... NO LINT on kitchen surfaces is tolerated. A person should only have extra plates for guests. A person only needs ONE plate, a set of eating utencils and you wash them immediately upon finishing your meal. Clean whatever was used to prepare the meal immediately. This way no pile up in the sink. Dishwashers are a no-no... it is to be washed by hand and scrubbed in hot sudsy water. You know it's clean that way, etcetera, etcetera. It's for this reason that someone with OCD (in my case it's all military) can cause a bit of grief to someone without it, or two people with it and you've got a battlefield.

So if you're having problems with it, or symptoms of it all I can say is that you need some form of medication, but don't be surprised if being on it brings along some problems in other areas of your life. It takes a strong willed woman to stand by someone with these issues, and you suffering from it have to make other people understand that you are hardwired that way, and that you try your best to overcome it in a manner that makes sense to you. They don't have to like it, they can deal with it, or choose to be an asshole like most of the collective majority who think their shit doesn't stink, but probably have some sort of mental problem their self righteous selves. Beyond this I don't know what more to say man. If you really want to talk further about it, send me a PM so it's not so out in the open. Sometimes helping others helps me with my problems.

Sincerely... MERCENARY X99

Click to expand...

HOLY CRAP!! I need to see a doctor! I am almost exactly the same. I will actually drive all the way home to make sure i closed the door when I know that 1 not only is the door closed and in fact locked but 2 I checked it two, three, and up times. Sometimes I will triple double check, get in my car and still need to get out and check one last time and even then i sometimes will turn around go back home and check yet again. It comes and goes though and i think it is becuase i might be bipolar as well. I can go days without doing anything but stay inside in bed depressed, i wont talk to no one for days, then I will snap out of it if you will and I am the funniest happeist person anyone knows. I am also very competetive, to the point were it is unhealthy. I must be better then the next person at any cost! I drive myself insane with my feelings of inferiority, If i dont win its becuase i am a loser. so i dont take it out on friends and such but no one plays me in madden becuase ive been known to break things curse and just not be very comfortable to be around and just recently playing pool I missed alot of shots that i considered easy and smashed my stick to bits and that wasnt the first time it happened.

I could go on but the rest is like Mercenary x99 with some little diffrences. Should i go on medication? I think if it helps me sleep for more then an hour or two at a time it will be worth it.

I have the same problem with locking and checking doors. When I come in the house after the last cigarette before sleep, I'll lock the door, walk up the basement stairs, close the next door, take a few steps, then turn around and check to make sure the door is locked even though I know I just locked it. Sometimes this will happen 3 or 4 times. It's as if I have to be able to picture the door locked as I walk away from it, for me to let it go. It's really weird, happens almost every day. Also there have been times that I'll drive around the block and past my house again to make sure I locked the front door.

I have had pretty bad OCD since I was little. It's basically always had to do with cleanliness...no habitual addiction here.

HOWEVER, once I started running on a solid and steady schedule, my OCD calmed down EXTENSIVELY. To the point of non-existence. Honestly, without running a few years ago, my life would've been a living hell.

Unfortunately, something worse has happened lately. For the past few months I've been having an extreme case of hypochondria...I can't even handle it. I would sit around and read about every disease, convince myself I had it and I was going to die, and in turn sit and lament life---as if it was over. Schoolwork suffered because of this...but MOST IMPORTANTLY...my health went down the drain. Hell, its still going down the drain.

See...because of this worry [which I now have 24 hours a day...7 days a week] my body is in a constant [read: ALL DAY] state of stress. In turn, by 5 o'clock I am TOTALLY ruined and out of energy. My heart has been pumping on overdrive all day...my muscles have been tensing all day...I'm wasted. Problem is, I see the fatigue as another symptom of a disease, even when logic says its from the extreme amount of stress I'm under. In turn, I get mored worried---have more stress---get more depressed. I've stopped exercising because I don't see the "point" anymore, and have started to get [what I believe to be] clinically depressed. I'm not sure...I've never felt it before...but I'm assuming thats what it is.

Problem is, I've got a strong mind and have always just brushed off pretty much everything. From pychotic problems at home to social disasters...nothing ever phased me ONE BIT. I was always under the mindset, "Shut up and stop whining, you fucking idiot. Just go live life!"

That mindset got me through a lot of BS, but doesn't seem to have the same affect on me it used to.

Anyone experience Hypochondriasis?

Yay.

I have OCD - yes I do.

I have OCD - and so do you. u. u. u. u. u. u. u. u. u. u. ->

--------------

Yes, I have it - will I discuss it? Not really - just want to say
it drives you fucking crazy. All the touching again and again
5 times...do it 4, repeat. Do it 6, repeat. Can't remember it
because you beat your head with one hand repeatedly?

Do it again, repeat.

It's a living hell - only way I can deal is if I'm either high,
drunk or my Bi Polar takes a dive and I get catatonic. And
speaking of Bi Polar disorder you just HAPPENED to inherit
through the gene pool, IT PISSES YOU THE FUCK OFF. !!!!

Get pissed off, smash the wrong thing and!

Do it again, repeat.

It can be fun, depressing and just unfun.

Later

shir0

Jesus - I think I have it too...

When I was a teenager (I don't do this anymore for some reason) before I would go to bed I would close my eyes, open the left eye, close the left eye, open the right eye, close the right eye.. Then repeat about a 3-4 times just to make sure I could still see... For a while I thought I was going crazy and was a blind person in my past life or something..

Today I also have the similiar things with locking the doors and especially when I buy new items (cars, clothes) that everything HAS to be PERFECT.

The worst thing I have to contend with though that I am dealing with right now is if I there is something in my pocket and I pull my hand out I check for about 5-15 seconds to make sure that I didn't accidentally pull out something and drop it. It's even worse in a restaurant where when I leave the table I will sometimes move my chair and make sure I didn't drop anything. This last about 10-20 seconds.

I suffered from OCD when I was in my early teens. I had this problem where I had to make sure everything in the house was off before I went to bed. I would stare at the knobs on the stove for a good fifteen minutes before something in my brain finally clicked and said "Ok, they're off". I did this with lights, the sink, TV, game consoles, etc. I eventually grew out of it though, but I still give some things a quick glance to make sure they're off before heading to bed.

Kid Aphex said:

I have had pretty bad OCD since I was little. It's basically always had to do with cleanliness...no habitual addiction here.

HOWEVER, once I started running on a solid and steady schedule, my OCD calmed down EXTENSIVELY. To the point of non-existence. Honestly, without running a few years ago, my life would've been a living hell.

Unfortunately, something worse has happened lately. For the past few months I've been having an extreme case of hypochondria...I can't even handle it. I would sit around and read about every disease, convince myself I had it and I was going to die, and in turn sit and lament life---as if it was over. Schoolwork suffered because of this...but MOST IMPORTANTLY...my health went down the drain. Hell, its still going down the drain.

See...because of this worry [which I now have 24 hours a day...7 days a week] my body is in a constant [read: ALL DAY] state of stress. In turn, by 5 o'clock I am TOTALLY ruined and out of energy. My heart has been pumping on overdrive all day...my muscles have been tensing all day...I'm wasted. Problem is, I see the fatigue as another symptom of a disease, even when logic says its from the extreme amount of stress I'm under. In turn, I get mored worried---have more stress---get more depressed. I've stopped exercising because I don't see the "point" anymore, and have started to get [what I believe to be] clinically depressed. I'm not sure...I've never felt it before...but I'm assuming thats what it is.

Problem is, I've got a strong mind and have always just brushed off pretty much everything. From pychotic problems at home to social disasters...nothing ever phased me ONE BIT. I was always under the mindset, "Shut up and stop whining, you fucking idiot. Just go live life!"

That mindset got me through a lot of BS, but doesn't seem to have the same affect on me it used to.

Anyone experience Hypochondriasis?

Click to expand...

That sucks Ray... what I have been going through isn't exactly the same thing, but it is similar... I used to be VERY motivated in life... graduated with highest distinction from college twice, have an excellent job, etc... but lately I haven't felt like doing ANYTHING... and I know it isn't the right mindset to have at all, but I've been drowning in it for awhile...

Kid Aphex said:

I have had pretty bad OCD since I was little. It's basically always had to do with cleanliness...no habitual addiction here.

HOWEVER, once I started running on a solid and steady schedule, my OCD calmed down EXTENSIVELY. To the point of non-existence. Honestly, without running a few years ago, my life would've been a living hell.

Unfortunately, something worse has happened lately. For the past few months I've been having an extreme case of hypochondria...I can't even handle it. I would sit around and read about every disease, convince myself I had it and I was going to die, and in turn sit and lament life---as if it was over. Schoolwork suffered because of this...but MOST IMPORTANTLY...my health went down the drain. Hell, its still going down the drain.

See...because of this worry [which I now have 24 hours a day...7 days a week] my body is in a constant [read: ALL DAY] state of stress. In turn, by 5 o'clock I am TOTALLY ruined and out of energy. My heart has been pumping on overdrive all day...my muscles have been tensing all day...I'm wasted. Problem is, I see the fatigue as another symptom of a disease, even when logic says its from the extreme amount of stress I'm under. In turn, I get mored worried---have more stress---get more depressed. I've stopped exercising because I don't see the "point" anymore, and have started to get [what I believe to be] clinically depressed. I'm not sure...I've never felt it before...but I'm assuming thats what it is.

Problem is, I've got a strong mind and have always just brushed off pretty much everything. From pychotic problems at home to social disasters...nothing ever phased me ONE BIT. I was always under the mindset, "Shut up and stop whining, you fucking idiot. Just go live life!"

That mindset got me through a lot of BS, but doesn't seem to have the same affect on me it used to.

Anyone experience Hypochondriasis?

Click to expand...

I experienced this on and entire summer. I have this stuff in larger amounts when I am on any form of vacation.
I was convinced I had a brain tumor one summer, then it moved on to Parkinsons, then lung cancer, then back to square one.

The symptoms you describe sound alot like Panic Disorder.
I cannot believe how similar me and you are.
Its comical.

Just recently I got on a normal schedule. (Before I would sleep all day and be awake all night)
Days would pass so fast that way.
Now its just the opposite.

Lord Wolfgang Krauser said:

I experienced this on and entire summer. I have this stuff in larger amounts when I am on any form of vacation.
I was convinced I had a brain tumor one summer, then it moved on to Parkinsons, then lung cancer, then back to square one.

The symptoms you describe sound alot like Panic Disorder.
I cannot believe how similar me and you are.
Its comical.

Just recently I got on a normal schedule. (Before I would sleep all day and be awake all night)
Days would pass so fast that way.
Now its just the opposite.

Click to expand...

After exhausting every DR and their opinion, I believe I finally know what's wrong with me. My tonsils are SUPER swollen. Both ENT and Dentist say they're some of the biggest they've ever seen.

ENT says Im possibly suffering from sleep apnea...waking up again and again in the night and never getting into REM sleep and therefore never getting fully rested. Makes a TON of sense---I am BEAT by the end of the day. Of course, I spend what time I am awake trying to figure out why I'm so tired. Stress levels shoot up, etc.

So anyways, yesterday during a nap in the middle of the afternoon I was only HALF ASLEEP because the TV was on, and I noticed I totally stopped breathing. My throat was entirely closed off, and I had to fully "wake up" and change positions to start breathing again. I figure, if thats what I'm dealing with every night, no wonder I feel like shit.

ENT said I should have my tonsils removed if they don't decrease in size...and I'm all for it. Hopefully I can get myself back on track after that.

Is there a name for the opposite of OCD?

And a semi-serious question for MD and KA.
How many times did you guys re-read your posts before actually hitting the post button?

Not to take it lightly, but I refuse to seek help from a psychiatrist.

I figure it would be a huge waste of time for me, and that I'd rather have a fucked up life than a cookie cutter life that matches 90% of what everyone else sees.

Nesagwa said:

Is there a name for the opposite of OCD?

And a semi-serious question for MD and KA.
How many times did you guys re-read your posts before actually hitting the post button?

Click to expand...

Comatose.

or Catatonic. I think that's your condition.

EvilWasabi said:

Comatose.

or Catatonic. I think that's your condition.

Click to expand...

That makes sense. Im a vegetable.

Kid Aphex said:

HOWEVER, once I started running on a solid and steady schedule, my OCD calmed down EXTENSIVELY. To the point of non-existence. Honestly, without running a few years ago, my life would've been a living hell.

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This is the same for me. I haven't been running lately. But it used to be my method of meditation. I'd go running and daydream for about 30 minutes about anything from my fantasy life to a new game that hasn't been made yet. Extremely therapeutic.

i can obviously relate to many of the things mentioned in this thread

great topic,lads

it's always good to hear what other people have to say about ocd

the way it affects our lives and how you decide to deal with it

always nice to know you're not the only one...

i dont really want to talk about it,
it still makes me feel somehow uneasy

how do people around you react when they find out?

i have tried to explain it all to very few people,
persons that are really close to me and all

but they almost never understand...

they just joke about it or start saying silly things

it used to be REALLY tough for me when i was 13-14

now i've learnt how to handle certain situations

or better yet,
i just act in a way so that i can totally avoid them

but it's still hard as nails...

on a lighter note:
on my flight to osaka,
i was bored shitless so i switched on the lcd screen after a while

and they were giving that nicholas cage film

matchstick men

funny eh?

I'm myself affected with a paranoid case of mysophobia since many year, I woudl say 15 or so.

That means I started the thing with I was 12, or similar.

I've had a lot of other minor OCD cases since I was very little (like 6 or even younger) but nothig THAT serious to be recognizable, I think.

As for my mysophobia, well it goes with periods, but it's always above the line.

It's quite a pain in the ass to live with. It affects any single aspect of my life of course, but someway I just feel I have to deal with it.

This is basically because I gain a strange kind of deep satisfaction/pleasure in accomplishing the mysophobic criterias in my life... thus I'm kinda addicted to my OCD itself...

But it's still a pain in the ass.