Saw the movie 'Underworld' WTF is wrong with people?

OK- I knew it wasn't gonna be great or anything, there was too much a negative consensus in the 20+ reviews I read when it was released

But WTF? were they thinking crafting the last 1/2 hour of the movie?

You'd think that if you took a werewolf and a vampire and made a 'hybrid' it would look like a combination of an evil winged bat and a demonic wolf of some sort. Instead it looked like something out of X-Men 2: Electric Boogaloo

God damn it's fucking amazing how they can spend so much time crafting a major motion picture- and then render their work almost unwatchable for the entire last 1/2 hour

It wasn't even that bad up until then- I mean it sucked hard in terms of making any sense- but I'm willing to suspend disbelief a little more than normal for a crazy genre film like this.

With the horrible last section and all the rediculous story elements:

- Vampires that have nothing in common with what modern cinema believes to be vampires- i.e.: No drinking blood on camera, shows reflection in mirrors, no superpowers but a 'Matrixy' agility and a SLIGHT resistance to wounds. And there's never ANY sunlight in this film at all. So it's not like it's even a relevant weakness.

And the werewolves? Sort of dopey and WAY too vulnerable to the Vampire's totally non-supernatural methods of fighting them- AKA think 'The Matrix' with all silver bullets

The story is really bad- but, once again, I could have forgiven this if not for the dogshit fuming ending.

And the kicker- the one little nugget of side information that came out of the creation of this wasted opportunity at a great genre-twisting action-horror film?

Fuckin' piece of ass Kate Beckinsdale supposedly fell in love with the film's director (bad director) Len Wiseman during the course of filming.

Oh- and he wants to make parts II and III now.

Gack- I need something to get the taste out of my mouth- Maybe some Snipes in Blade II

Van Helsing

I thought the movie was terrible, but I thought the first 1 1/2 hour was boring as hell.

A bunch of wussy vampires doing nothing but drinking tomato juice in martini glasses. Yay, those vampires really scare me.

The werewolves are okay. But what's with the Romeo & Juliet plot? Can we get more unoriginal? It can't make up its mind whether it wants to be an all out action movie (which it isn't) or a social commentary of sorts (which again, fails miserably).

I literally laughed out loud when I saw the end fight of the last guy. He was cut in half in the most asinine way you can think of. There was no tension, no moment of triumph, nothing. I was like "Oh, that's it, okay." Actually, by then, I was looking forward to the best part of the movie, which is me getting up and leaving the theater.

The trailer, however, is awesome. They should win an oscar just the way they cut the movie so you think you are going to see something awesome.

Here's my opinion on the matter.

I'm a huuuuuuuge fan of horror and sci-fi movies, particularly vampire and werewolf movies. So with that, i'm willing to forgive crummy acting(most horror movies have shitty acting) and stuff just cuz i like those kinds of movies. I went to the theatre to see Underworld......

....I fell asleep watching it at the theatre..........

if thats any indication.

And the guy- the one that my girlfriend tells me is from that godawful WB show 'felicity' Fuckin' EH do I hate that actor. Totally miscast.

And what was up with the werewolf leader's forehead? I didn't know a giant, overdeveloped forehead was one of the symptoms of turning into a werewolf.

BUT- one little thing I love was that fucking actress/model they got to play the vampire 'princess'- even though she has about 60 seconds of screentime in the whole film. I fucking DUG her.

Well the minute I saw "Kate Beckinsale" as the head liner of this flick I had a quick flashback to PEARL HARBOR and said... NO WAY! She's about as believable as that dude playing THE PUNISHER in the new version coming out. *Apparently my gut instinct was right.

Mercenary X99

if you're curious as to my opinion on the movie i'd suggest you ask Triump The Insult Dog.

glad to see other people taking shots on Len wiseman and his formulaic POS Underworld. Someone needs to tell these directors and producers that their ideas are as tired and worn as an old whores twat at daybreak. If you're gonna make a movie about something so overdone, at least try to make it more...cerebral instead of coming off as a broke-assed verison of BLADE.

the formula:

Blade + "Lycans" - quality cinematography and stylization - coolness - good writing + NuMetal soundtrack = Underworld.

PS: I hope you're not serious about that fuck(wiseman) crapping out two more sequels....

*sigh* seems like White Wolf level of quality is just too much to ask for these days...

Hentai Sama said:

*sigh* seems like White Wolf level of quality is just too much to ask for these days...

Click to expand...

I have no idea why the whitewolf style is just completely overlooked. Everything has to fucking look like Blade and the Matrix.

I thought the film was allright. OK, it wasn't anything special, but it was a nice enough way to kill 90 minutes. Then again, any film with a rubber-clad vixen in it is going to get my attention regardless of its content.
Some bits did seem pretty daft though, like how there were no car chase scenes - so instead, whenever anyone is driving a car, they drive it really fast and attemp to powerslide any corner, even if they are not in any hurry.

By the Way, there is now an underworld game out (In the UK at least) for the PS2. Bizzarely enough its by Playit, who do budget games, so its only £9.99 at HMV. Havent seen any reviews yet and it was a very quiet release, so I assume its toss.