Has anyone here given any thought to planning your own funeral?

I'm actually not being sarcastic. I was thinking the other day how sad the death of a loved one is and the sort of toll it takes on his or her family and friends.

So, I came up with this idea for my funeral- I am going to have a package I give to my girlfriend and my parents that say "Open only after my death".

It's going to have a couple of prepared speechs for various people to read- One for my parents, one for my girl and one or two for whatever religious types that are running the service- in fact I think I want two presiding religious people there to run the service- One a loud black methodist type preacher from one of those big black churches (the ones like from 'Blues Brothers' with the big gospel quiors) and the other maybe an orthodox Jewish rabbi. Mind you I'm an atheist so everyone that knows me will be like "WTF?"

The speechs the people have to read are going to be really obnoxious and hopefully really inappropriate given the tone of a funeral and all. I'm going to fill them with my trademark attacks on the religious beliefs of my family and friends- including more than a few 'zingers' and liberal usage of the word 'motherfucker'

Then the assembled mourners will be asked to sit still and listen to about an hours worth of pre-selected awful music on the CD comp. I'm burning, featuring:

R. Kelly - I believe I can fly
Tina Turner - Simply The Best
Top Gun ST - Highway to the Dangerzone
UB40 - Red Red Wine
Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting
Whitney Huston - That 'Children Are Our Future' song
Prince - The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

And a bunch of other songs I hand select that are some of the most annoying in existence. All during the playing of this cd the doors will be chained shut BTW.

The end result of all this is that by the end of the service everyone who was mourning me would now be fucking GLAD I'm dead.

And the service will conclude with a tape recording of me saying:

Greiving time over! Now forget I ever existed assholes!

It is a very important step. When my brother passed away in 2001 I had no idea what all was involved in planning a funeral. The costs are near 10K, put that on top of everyone's grieving... and that is not a time to be cutting corners on shit (since... you want to send someone off at budget prices?)....

I saw right then and there I never wanted my loved ones to have to take on that burden. So, as soon as I find a place and settle down I am going to get the plot, coffin, and anything else I can think of paid for... It's morbid, but I think it will ease the strain when the time comes.

Even though I know you meant the above post as a joke... I still think about it from time to time

-Nick

Yes.

While no one likes to think of that shit... the answer is YES I HAVE thought about it. I've already made it clear to family and friends, (as I will make clear to any children I might have in the future)... that they are not to spend a fortune on my funeral. *Measure my dead biological housing at the time, fit it for a $300 Pine Box just like back in teh old west... dig a hole, say some words... cry a little, then go out and party!

Seriously... when that day comes (and even as wreckless as I am, I'm hoping no time soon) I want to be remembered for being a "Different" and "Outspoken" individual who didn't always do everything the right way... but he damn sure stood for what he believed. ---Thus it wouldn't make sense to spend the average that is now $10,000 on a funeral for a person who's life force/spirit has gone home. *Why I don't understand ppl who visit grave sites annually with flowers and stuff... cause the person isn't there... their spirit is gone. Remember them as they were and use that to strengthen those still living.

...but enough of this talk. I'm more interested in LIVING the examined life to it's fullest, and one day being a war hero if possible.

MD20XX / Storm Rider

I had a great aunt who was hugely opposed to the funeral industry and had herself buried in a plastic bag.

More power to her I say.

The neobuyer dirge CD compilation is just excellent. I admit, I didn't read this at first, and just skimmed it and hit the list and was like, Oh gawd, this is horrible.

ps - read your pm, you poofter.

BlackSpy said:

I had a great aunt who was hugely opposed to the funeral industry and had herself buried in a plastic bag.

More power to her I say.

Click to expand...

Bravo to her!

I've been considering what to do with my things and my body once I've passed on, and I know I don't want any more than $1,000 spent on my own damn funeral.

My family's spent several thousand on my grandparents' funerals even though they were already supposed to be taken care of. I don't want that to happen, so I think I too want to be either cremated and stuffed into cheap fireworks (I heard about a woman who had that done. Her family set off the fireworks and celebrated her life.) or placed in a bag and thrown off a bridge.

But then I have no idea where to start on how to split my massive anime/video game goods collection...

I never gave it much thought. I always imagined dying and no one noticing. I like that idea. I don't want people to make a big deal.

Rade

You guys have it completely backwards.

When I plan my funeral, there will be a Circus. I want the hole in the ground to be covered in a big red striped circus tent, the ring master will give my eulogy (in song form), clowns will sing songs, elephants will poo on people (and step on a few of the slower children), and other feets of amazement and wonder will be performed in my honor. Then, a 100 inch screen will be brought in to play a musical montage to me. Proceeding the montage will be a video mesage from me (continually updated every year to fit the current time, until I kick the bucket) telling how I really feel about people and giving everyone the unhappy news that as of five minutes ago my fatefull butler has been instructed to burn all of my personal effects and empty any and all bank accounts I have, giving it to random hobos.

After that, the clowns will fill in my hole, by hand, while everyone else is required to sing songs (written ahead of time) about how cool I was. After the hole is filled, a lifesize Vegas-Elvis statue/headstone will be lowered onto my plot, engraved with the words "Here lies Wayne, He sure did die."

Yep! I already have it planned!

I seriously have thought about it, and ive told everyone that i want the game over music from earthbound to be played at my funeral

why plan my own funeral, if i'm dead i'm dead, but other folks funerals yeah i've been through the planning of my grandma's funeral, it's a bitch really it is.