First Loves?

I know I'm supposed to be some sort of philosopher, but I want to have some sort of sign that I can be a relatively normal person when it comes to emotion. I'm basically a dysfunctional because I beleive I can do anything, and alot of times I can except when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm really hoping that Hidden Warrior posts because he has plenty of good insight. I don't know. Maybe this can help more than just me. Oh, well. If you're up to it, give it a try.

I want to make this clear. If you don't want to say anything, don't. If it's going to tear you up inside, stay away. Go to another topic or something. It's going to tear me up but I'm going to face it.

My first love was in 6th grade. Her name was Kimberly. You guys can't have a last name. (sorry.) I... was basically just a kid who thought the world would lay a path out for me to follow but one day, this really beautiful French Italian girl asks me out. Hmm... I'm sort of confused but that's ok. I make like Goku in DBZ and say what the hey. We end up staying together for a three years. Through our crappy ass Intermediate school, we fought beside each other through everything. I mean physically fight. Our school was rather rowdy, to make light of it. One day, at the end of our 8th grade year, she makes the announcement that she's moving to California. I say fantastic but in my head I say fan-friggin-tastic. I figure that's it but it's not. I find myself useing alot of my college funds set aside by my grandparents to go to Cali and visit maybe three four times a year. That's kind of expensive considering I'm a 14 yr old from Hawaii and my mom can't afford to come with me. Anyway, This goes on for a while. One day... I think it was a Tuesday... but that's irrelevant. One of my buddies comes to me with news that an earthquake hit Cali and Kim was with her mom when the overpass crushed the car. They hadn't been found. Of course, I'm not very happy to say the least. I went through three different psychologists who apparently weren't good ones because they had no effect in trying to convince me from commiting suicide on a few seperate occasions. Feeling like crapola, I agree to go with my mom to Arizona to live. We ended up living there for only a short while and so we moved back. I'm a junior in high school now and I've basically moved on in life because I have to. It's been nearly three years. But, a ways into the year, February I believe... the 26th. I get called to the counselors office during 4th period to recieve a phone call. I figure it's my mom for something so I go.
To my surprise, it's Kim and her mom. They'd been looking for me for over two years. When they recovered in the hospital they rushed back here to O'ahu to try and find me. I was already in AZ at the time to they were discouraged and went to find me there. By the time they got there, I was California getting ready to come back here. They couldn't find my old name in the School Rosters on the Windward side so they rechecked Cali and AZ. One day, it occured to them to try my other last name 'Orton.' I wasn't at Kailua High so they check every school on the island they found me at Kaimuki H.S. We arranged to meet at the Intl. Airport on night and when I saw her all I could do was cry three years worth in a hug that lasted about an hour, I think. We got to talking and I figured out she had a new boyfriend. I got to meet him and I'm staisfied that he'll take care of her, 'cause if he doesn't... whoa, there'll be hell to pay. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0"> Anyways, he's cool so we officially broke up on good terms. I had also told her I had a failed attempt at another girl, but she said I'm a good man and I'll find the right one someday. Heh... I actually bought that crap. Oh, well. She walked out of my life that night content with the facts that we'd each be alright.

The weird part is that I'm listening to 'Sweetest Thing' by U2. A love song of course as I write this.
Anywho, that's a little insight to why I'm so stoic and screwed up in the head. But, I know someone out there can beat this story. Even if your stories can't beat this in your opinion, I think that this can be a real cleansing experience. Post away... <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/frown.gif" border="0">

I think the first thing you'll need to do is to "Love DC".......that's your first love.

I have a story..... but I don't feel confident enough to tell it yet.... *Blushes*

[ May 29, 2001: Message edited by: Rain ]

Well, everyone obviously has a moment in their life they considered their "first love" or at the least, their "first crush". There's a big difference though, clearly.

I had hella crushed throughout the years and the very first crush came in....

Kinky-Garten! <IMG SRC="smilies/glee.gif" border="0">

BTW, Genno... did ya know..... that your flag represents where Neo Dio originated from?

LOL, j/p. Seriously though, I forgot to say this:

Great Story. It was a good read and I'm happy things turn out the way they did. It could have been a lot worst. Your mind is very recall-ish... a lot like mine's. I like to remember important dates as well. Keep it real, bro!

That was a great storey,and Im rilly glad that everything worked out between you 2, and that you are still friends. That is the most important part of a relationship, because if you cant be friends at the end than it was never ment to be. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

Gennosuke,
Thanks for sharing your sad story with us. Move on, don't dwell on the negative past. There is a whole new life in front of you. You will find your true love someday. With all my best wishes.

For me its a girl Gennosuke the Ronin and I both know. Shes graet though I wish that she would notice that I like her a lot. As in real life I am quite irritating and persitent the girl which I speak of can stand me and can actually breakme down. That is amazing in its self as making me speechless in real life is quite hars. She is a angel from heavan. Really I hope things work out! <IMG SRC="smilies/eek2.gif" border="0">

That was a very interesting story Gennosuke. Of course, I'm glad to hear everything worked out, and I'm also glad to hear that you're not sore over not being with this girl now. Shows you're a more tightly packed person and a lot more stable than you sound like you give yourself credit for.

My first love story can't hold a candle to yours. I was 18, she was 27 and married. I know now that it was a very stupid and arrogant thing to do, mess around with a married woman. Not only is it a disrespectful thing toward her husband, but it'll also get your dumbass shot if you're caught. Originally, it was all fun and games. I was a sounding board for her problems, and I wound up being a helluva lot more before it was all said and done. But the thing is, everything about her, to me, was perfect. I'd dated several girls before then, but I never felt about any of them the way I did for her.

Thing is, when it came to the inevitable end, because let's face it, she wasn't gonna leave the security she had with her husband for my barely legal immature ass, I was shot down in flames. Even though I saw it coming, knew it was coming, it still cut to the bone. I remember the day all too well. I cried like a little girl (and for the record, she was the first and only girl that ever made me shed a tear!) and thought about how unworthy I was to even know somebody as Goddess like as her (is it obvious I had some deep feelings for her?! <IMG SRC="smilies/rolleyes.gif" border="0"> ). That was also the day my brand spankin' new Fatal Fury home cart arrived from Japan Video Games. My first time playing the first game of the fatal Fury series was done through watery eyes and a shattered heart... <IMG SRC="smilies/rolleyes.gif" border="0">

But anyway, there's my story. She was my first "true love", as screwed up as the situation was to begin with.

The for those of you who say it was nver meant to be you must always find a way. If you think like that it will be like that you set the scene for love and not the otherway around.

Sono kuni... Kaki kiero... :P j/k anyway, Gennosuke... I have a story that can't compare, but it overrules me in disgust for her now. She threw away something that lasted 2 years and 4 months in 2 weeks and fell for another guy. Yes it was a long distance... but she broke it off 3 weeks before I was home...

If people don't know, I know Gennosuke, KoolKing, and Iie-Kyo in real life. Although, I am however over her... Logic is more important than love. In fact, logic creates love. For now... singing "mada kanashii love song." If life kicks you in the ass, just move on. It's not like you can do anything about it... Just try to be happy and move on.

fuckin-A, i'm 16 and still never had "first love"...

Thanks, you guys. All of you. Lou... whoa. Whether you think that came close to mine, heh, I still think it was pretty harsh. Don't worry. SNK will always be there to comfort us in our darkest hours. J-Man, don't worry about it. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe the SNK god is holding you out for the perfect woman. It's cool. Just you guys wait. It'll happen (again for some). The girl I like now finally told me she knew so I don't have to hide it anymore. Koolking knows this, so does Iie-Kyo. Leviathan will sooner or later.

I know my previous posts and this topic have been a bit depressing and if I've singlehandedly depressed a whole lot of you guys, sorry. I just gotta get it off me to move on.

I'm still wondering what HIDDEN WARRIOR would say... He is a philosopher, too. In his own way really.

It's kind of weird, earlier, I would post in a morbid depressed way because my logic was unclouded. However, with your logic clouded by love, life is a lot more fun. <IMG SRC="smilies/glee.gif" border="0">

Anywho, hang in there guys. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

You know Gennosuke the Ronin you should try and make a real effort to have Leona like you. Its this gir! If you really tried it could work! You never know till you give it a shot. <IMG SRC="smilies/tongue.gif" border="0">

My first? It was around my freshman~sophmore year of high school. A while after that she 'found herself.' Her and her girlfriend are pretty happy together right now. <IMG SRC="smilies/frown.gif" border="0">

I never had the feelings of love except for my family(ehem..dont misunderstood!!).But when God finally met me with my future wife i will knew it...

lol NeoRasa, you turned her gay?!
j/k
my first love was freshman year. Lasted 4 and a half years, until we both went to different colleges. Then we just sort of drifted apart. We had this date, and I had an engagement ring in my pocket, to ask her to marry me. That was Valentine's day. Somehow I knew when she got out of my my car going home, it was the last date. And, it was. No longer were my calls or e-mails returned. I tried a few times off and on, but never spoke again.
I'm damn happy with the girl I'm with though. <IMG SRC="smilies/drool.gif" border="0">

This compares little to the other stories so far....

My first love, 10th grade, in the fall. Beautiful girl named Erica. Her father was a Marine, and also an Eagle Scout, which at the time I was also working towards, so besides hitting it off with here, I also got along with here parents! Summer was perfect as I worked at the Naval Research Lab in an internship, and she lived on Bolling Air Force Base which are right next to each other.

Things seemed to go really well. She had some emotional problems, her real dad did not care for her at all, and that was always bothering her. Many times dealing with the tears....

And this relationship lasted until the end of my Junior year in high school. At the end of the summer, she was moving, and I was of the opinion that all would end since she was moving 4 hours away, she did not want that.

One day, at the bowling alley with a large group of friends, I got the boot. That was quite unexpected! My friends, and here best friend were at a loss for words too!

But it does not stop there, I got the boot and was replaced by my best friend at the time. Talk about a double back stab! They left the bowling alley together, and my best friend left his little brother behind who I ended up taking him myself.....

The thing is, their relationship was never real. She would enjoy flaunting in front of me whenever she could, but I went out a couple times with her best friend, and she through fits. Whenever she got depressed over her real father, she never talked to my 'replacement,' but called me cause 'he did not understand...'

I learned the fine art of pushing people buttons through this experience.... I had a chip on my shoulder for the longest time, my heart and trust ripped right from me in a matter of minutes. And the thing is, I never managed to escape, as we were all part of a youth group at a local church, so that meant more 'time together.'

If people care (or are bored) I can provide 4 instances of grief from the summer, already written up, but figured no need to bore people if they did not wish it! <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

BTW, with a great girl now, been a few years too and it is working out really well!

More! That stuff gets better I know it does!

I agree with koyisthekof. More! I'm interested. I'd say, 'damn, bitch...' but that's disrespectful. At least you almost had her crawl back, but why would you want any of that? <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
Anyways, that was pretty cool. BTW, don't think you guys' stories have to compare to mine or anything. Everyone has different standards for how hard it hit them. So don't try to top me. This tpoic thread is for people who want to get it out and have done with it.
Thanks for the interesting story. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

The rest..... <IMG SRC="smilies/glee.gif" border="0">

Here are 4 examples of 'life after Erica.' Nothing nearly as dramatic as some previous stories, but still messed up in a way, there is much more than this too, I think this is the longest summer I had beating out another summer that did not have any woman woes at all!

One trip that summer included a white water rafting trip in PA. That did not go so well.... 4 16-man boats, I made dam sure I was away from them, but unfortunately, I was 'lucky' enought to be moved from where I was to the position in another boat right in front of the love birds... Sometimes you just can never win. Although, myself, and the girl sitting across from me (Denise) who was also moved, did enjoy the trip down the river. To level out the weight, I ended up in front of Erica, and Denise sat in front of my replacement.... Everytime we hit a little rapid, Erica grabbed onto me, scared she would fall in. You could just see the anger gathering inside of my 'repalcement.' While I hated being put in the place I was, I think I took pleasure in seeing his displeasure. I never imagined how well someone could keep an angry look on their face for hours, but he did a fine job, and said not a word, except for a threat to throw Denise in the river, but it did not phase me in the least.

One other trip that same summer in Delaware, the love birds basically had a fight, and Erica decided to run away down the beach. I was chosen as the one to 'fetch' her as I was the only other person who would still speak to her..... Her excuse for running away? 'He' was not me?!?! How lame is that! She made the mistake and called him Keith 3 times that night, and he went off the handle..... Anyway, I convinced her to come back, and Denise decided she was going to get her two cents in. Up she went to the room the love birds were hanging out, and she chewed them beoth out, "You gotta pick one or the other," "You should be ashamed for backstabbing people lik you did," "Let him go, YOU dumped him," etc..... More crying ensued, hours worth I believe.... We left, and went to hang out on the boardwalk after that, they stayed behind...

Then there was my 'Eagle Court of Honor.' The little ceremony where the Boy Scouts awards the rank of Eagle to a scout that earned it. The troop I was in always did one for an individual scout, so it was my day. Before all of the BS happened, invitations had been sent out, and of course Erica and her family, and my 'replacement' and his family were invited. The night came, not a delightful one either, we had vicious summer thunderstorms, and constant power losses when setting up. I had Denise, and Jennifer (this was E's ex-best friend by that point) help setup with my parents. I was 'stationed' to welcome everyone as they came in, this was happening at a church. I remember the look on Erica's face when she came in, big smile, she looked extremely happy to see me, and then as she walked up the stairs, Jennifer came over to whisper something in my ear. I do not remember that little tidbit, but the expression of happiness disappeared very quickly, like someone turned the lightswitch off inside! Anyway, the ceremony went on, and at the end, it was basically a social time to talk with goodies and drinks.... After that, we all decided (the kids that were there) to goto Denny's to hang out for a while, we invited E, but she declined since I said my replacement was not invited.... She through a tatrum, and was promptly shut up by Jennifer. Anyway, we went to Denny's, and then left at 1AM, I went back home with Jennifer, to arrive to a huge note on my door saying to call Erica as soon as I get in no matter the time. Knowing it would be much later by the time I took Jen home, I called her, got the third degree briefly like I was still her boyfriend for being out so late, and then Jen said something and Erica heard her, and the girl flipped again! My impression of this was 'I do not want you, but no one else can have you either.'

Finally, we get around the time she was to leave. Being that I was going into my senior year of college, I planned a trip out to the MidWest to visit some colleges, which happened to be the same time she was leaving. I did not plan it that way, it just happened. We reluctantly had thrown her a surprise going away/birthday party the week previous, and I was there, so I felt my goodbyes were done with, I was wrong...... The night before I leave I get a call from this girl crying heavily, at 10:30 PM, to come and see her, and how she had to say good bye, blah blah.... So I did just that, and she goes on and on about how she never stopped loving me, etc... Pretty wierd... I ended up hanging out there until 3 AM, as she would not let me leave... My replacement called her 8 times while I was there! Just when you think you have someone figured out, you find out you do not.....

There are many more in between stories of evilness, and she should have hated my guts by the time she left, but she did not....

Of course, after she moved, that was not the last I heard of her. We wrote each other, and I got the occational phone call, but the contact ended the end of my senior year, or so I thought.....

After being at college for 6 months, I get a phone call from her. She wanted to play guessing games, but in the end she told me she was pregnant, and just had to tell me, that was too wierd... First words out of my mouth were, "Well, it ain't mine!"

Then again, no contact for about 4 years, until I got a message from my parents that she called....

So, I call her, this time it is a plea of help, she would do ANYTHING for me to come scoop her up from life right now, and to patch everything up.... It is a good thing I had a girlfriend at that point, otherwise I would have raced down to VA Beach to pick here up....

Anyway, last I know of her, she had 3 kids by 3 different men, 1 kid with her mom, and another with her grand parents because child services snatched them away..... Pretty sad, she was such a nice girl when we met and had plenty of potential.... It was funny, when she called me, she dragged out a napkin with my phone number, the same napkin I gave her at a bowling alley that got our relationship started. It seems wierd that she held onto that....

LOL,
I dated a hot little latino # for several years in HS.
We were really close, heck, shed even had her nose broken in a fight with me.
That is to say, we were side by side. A real team if you will.
I really never thought anything would change that. We planned on getting married at the time.
Right up to the point that, a year or so otta HS, one week she started acting weird.
Even accused me of cheating.
LOL, heres a hint boys. If she ever accuses you of that, & your totally innocent.
Then take a hard look back, chances are shes just done you wrong.
After that people are always looking to blame the one their with as if they had done so too.
Dunno why, guess it makes em feel better.
I figured it out pretty quick, and dropped her, bitch.

Only ran into her once again 3years later.
At the time I was banking, just bought a brand new 3/4ton pickup.
I was kicking ass & taking names.
She was working nights, unhappy & pregnant, as a checkout girl at a local grocery.
Married to some lame who wasnt as nice to her, and she was not happy. I could see that in her eyes.
She tried to "befriend" me
Woohoo boy did I get a laugh that day.
I was like, your a dumb ass, live with your choice.
Im no home wrecker, and you aint worth my time.
Even better since I had cute little blonde with me at the time.
May not be nice, but sometimes paybacks fun.