Jokes on lawyers

1) Survey shows that the average time a lawyer takes to choose a gift for his child is 10 minutes. It takes a lawyer 45 minutes to pick the right gift for his client.

2) Clothes don't necessary make the man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.
-Milton Berle

3) The judge cautioned the jury, "When you go in to deliberate, for those of you who watch law shows on television, let me remind you that once in a while the district attorney wins."
-Milton Berle

Q:What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead lawyer?
A:There are skidmarks before the snake.
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Edit: One of my best friends is a lawyer, he tells me half the lawyer jokes I hear. <IMG SRC="smilies/tongue.gif" border="0">

[ June 03, 2001: Message edited by: Laserblast ]

Too bad. I have a lot to tell. You may have heard them all. I try to find some YEE-HAW joke next time.

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start!

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What do you throw a drowning lawyer?

A landrover!

1) He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides

2)A very respectable lawyer was filing some insurance papers when he came to the question: "If your father is dead, state the cause." Unwilling to reveal that his father had been hanged for cattle rustling, the lawyer evaded the problem by answerig this way: "He died while taking part in a public ceremony when the platform gave way."