The Perfect Job for the young, the restless and the bored!

M

MegaDrive20XX

Guest
Joined
Dec 20, 2002
Posts
2,402
According to teh movie Way of the Gun, and more to the point (Ryan Phillipe)... A shot of Cum can get you $2,000 USD??? If this is true I figure I'm going to hit a couple of "Sperm Donor Banks" during the month of July and make about $30,000 USD, doing what I once did in puberty just for the sake of doing it. That'll be my summer job. My Financee' hates the idea, stating I'll have bitchez from all over the place wanting "Child Support" payments since it's my seed... but I figure if I didn't make a DIRECT DEPOSIT (hence fucked her real good like and gushed one up in her for the Zipper) then I'd slam the door in her face and be like... "no direct deposit... no money."

Or I'd take my indirect children and start a separtist society of warriors in the vein of the Gramaiton Cleric and Big Boss's "Outer Heaven" dream.

Sorry guys... I'm just feeling Bipolar tonight, and bored as shit. But I do wonder just how much a cup full of Jizsim is actually worth.

MD20XX
 
abdul

abdul

Aero Fighters Flyboy
Joined
May 24, 2003
Posts
2,088
if this is true then i have a blanket taht is worth at least 50,000$ smirk smirk
 
Loopz

Loopz

Formerly Punjab,
Joined
Aug 16, 2001
Posts
12,871
Wow, that means I woke up with about $8,000 dried and flaked around my navel. make_fac buttrock
 
T

toy_brain

Amano's Drinking Buddy
Joined
Jun 27, 2001
Posts
2,688
Dont ask me why I know, or how, because I really can't remember (I think a friend told me a while back but I'm not sure) but I think the going rate for a shot of your white wee wee is £40-ish.

And you can only 'give' 3 times a week because any more than that and you start shooting blanks.
 
RabbitTroop

RabbitTroop

Mayor of Southtown, ,
20 Year Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2000
Posts
13,852
toy_brain:
Dont ask me why I know, or how, because I really can't remember (I think a friend told me a while back but I'm not sure) but I think the going rate for a shot of your white wee wee is £40-ish.

And you can only 'give' 3 times a week because any more than that and you start shooting blanks.
Click to expand...
Um... wow... no... hehe, I blew it way more than 3 times a week when I was younger... Sometimes 3 times a day wasn't uncommon... never shot blanks... not even once. Perhaps they need help?

-Nick
 
Nesagwa

Nesagwa

Beard of Zeus,
20 Year Member
Joined
May 17, 2002
Posts
21,322
no, you start shooting very little sperm. you still shppt semen. its really alot more selective and lower paying than that.
 
Kid Aphex

Kid Aphex

samus' love slave,
Joined
Nov 23, 2001
Posts
9,851
Whoa---people BRAGGING about how many times they jerk off?

ONLY ON :cool: THE INTERNET :cool:
 
B

Big Shady

Kyukyogenryu Black Belt
15 Year Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2003
Posts
4,945
There is some truth to this, but its tough to get selected. You need to fit a certain height and weight range, SAT scores, and a level of education. I was gonna do one in Boston cause they were looking for University level students (Villanvoa University for me), but the catch was had to be no taller than 6'5" and I break through that ceiling at 6'10". My mother was also flipping out that I applied saying all these kids would be running around with my DNA. I would just feel bad if a 5 foot woman got my sperm, the poor woman would be ripped open by the enormous baby :D
 
F

FeelGood

So Many Posts
No Time
For Games.
Joined
Aug 18, 2001
Posts
17,794
Big Shady:
There is some truth to this, but its tough to get selected. You need to fit a certain height and weight range, SAT scores, and a level of education. I was gonna do one in Boston cause they were looking for University level students (Villanvoa University for me), but the catch was had to be no taller than 6'5" and I break through that ceiling at 6'10". My mother was also flipping out that I applied saying all these kids would be running around with my DNA. I would just feel bad if a 5 foot woman got my sperm, the poor woman would be ripped open by the enormous baby :D
Click to expand...
the big bucks are reserrved for the good looking and intelligent. A friend of mine was offered a good deal on his sperm - he didn't look that good to me, but he was a graduating CS major at CMU so you can tell he was near genius. He ended up not donating his sperm though, for the reason that he didn't want his DNA in some kid he'd never see.

As for me, I wonder what mine is worth.
 
M

Marek

Banned
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Posts
1,075
EvilWasabi:
Big Shady:
There is some truth to this, but its tough to get selected. You need to fit a certain height and weight range, SAT scores, and a level of education. I was gonna do one in Boston cause they were looking for University level students (Villanvoa University for me), but the catch was had to be no taller than 6'5" and I break through that ceiling at 6'10". My mother was also flipping out that I applied saying all these kids would be running around with my DNA. I would just feel bad if a 5 foot woman got my sperm, the poor woman would be ripped open by the enormous baby :D
Click to expand...
the big bucks are reserrved for the good looking and intelligent. A friend of mine was offered a good deal on his sperm - he didn't look that good to me, but he was a graduating CS major at CMU so you can tell he was near genius. He ended up not donating his sperm though, for the reason that he didn't want his DNA in some kid he'd never see.

As for me, I wonder what mine is worth.
Click to expand...
Couldnt you just make that stuff up.

"...yeah... Im...uhhh... a rhodes scholar who finished college at 17 but then decided to pursue a professional modeling career instead of a career in areospace design, my major, which is now more like a hobby.... did I mention that if I walk down the street without this monkey suit on Im mobbed by women? uh huh. 500? sounds great."

now that would be aewsome.
 
E

Electroman

, ,
Joined
May 29, 2002
Posts
4,771
I believe sperm donerships are downright wrong.

1.) There are too many people on this planet, that much is certain. One's person dire need to have a baby should be less than the greater need of the planet, and of the people's republic to which we live.

2.) You will now have countless other "you's" running around. This could mess up the gene pool. And what if you ran into someone who looked like you did 20, 30 years ago? Now how do you live with that on your conscience?

3.) For those of you from the church, I don't doubt that God resents the idea.

I thought donations may have scored about $50 or so too. Fuck Hollywood, its the biggest, most unreal pool of anti-logic moneybath bullshit ever conceived.
 
B

Big Shady

Kyukyogenryu Black Belt
15 Year Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2003
Posts
4,945
The Populous...:
EvilWasabi:
Big Shady:
There is some truth to this, but its tough to get selected. You need to fit a certain height and weight range, SAT scores, and a level of education. I was gonna do one in Boston cause they were looking for University level students (Villanvoa University for me), but the catch was had to be no taller than 6'5" and I break through that ceiling at 6'10". My mother was also flipping out that I applied saying all these kids would be running around with my DNA. I would just feel bad if a 5 foot woman got my sperm, the poor woman would be ripped open by the enormous baby :D
Click to expand...
the big bucks are reserrved for the good looking and intelligent. A friend of mine was offered a good deal on his sperm - he didn't look that good to me, but he was a graduating CS major at CMU so you can tell he was near genius. He ended up not donating his sperm though, for the reason that he didn't want his DNA in some kid he'd never see.

As for me, I wonder what mine is worth.
Click to expand...
Couldnt you just make that stuff up.

"...yeah... Im...uhhh... a rhodes scholar who finished college at 17 but then decided to pursue a professional modeling career instead of a career in areospace design, my major, which is now more like a hobby.... did I mention that if I walk down the street without this monkey suit on Im mobbed by women? uh huh. 500? sounds great."

now that would be aewsome.
Click to expand...
They do background checks buddy. You need your high school/college transcript, there is an extensive interview, and they do see you before you spooge in the cup.
 
Z

zorro

Galford's Poppy Trainer
Joined
Aug 2, 2002
Posts
2,648
how would I go about finding such a place? any tips?

(I need a car!)
 
Z

zorro

Galford's Poppy Trainer
Joined
Aug 2, 2002
Posts
2,648
I think I would be the perfect candidate to donate sperm.

Because:
1. I do excellant at english and art
2. I'm attractive.
3. Of corse I'm a perfect accreditation to the human race.
4. 6 feet, blue/green eyes.
5. I say the truth

<small>[ June 30, 2003, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: zorro ]</small>
 
corbo 2

corbo 2

Genjuro's Frog
Joined
Jan 5, 2003
Posts
1,143
Well,i would glady give my sperm for some cash,what's the problem?

Apart from fucking up the gene pool and lots of me running around,but anything for the neo,god damm me finding out about it,its make me broke for the first time in my life :(

But i'm havin a hell of a time being broke for the games i brought,best gaming days ever :)
 
Kid Aphex

Kid Aphex

samus' love slave,
Joined
Nov 23, 2001
Posts
9,851
zorro:
I think I would be the perfect candidate to donate sperm.

Because:
1. I do excellant at english and art
2. I'm attractive.
3. Of corse I'm a perfect accreditation to the human race.
4. 6 feet, blue/green eyes.
5. I say the truth
Click to expand...
Man, all that is too bad, as you're never going to have sex with a female and get a chance to spread that seed around. You prefer men...and as I gather from some of your previous posts, they prefer you.
 
Z

zorro

Galford's Poppy Trainer
Joined
Aug 2, 2002
Posts
2,648
no, actually it's just that they like me. It's not my fault that shit like that happens to me. Besides I do like chicks and there are actually 2 I know who wanna get with me right now. But children? not until I get a decent job!

and aphex why you always gotta talk shit? you come down to the level of a high schooler with your cheap insults on a daily basis. Calling somebody gay is for little bitches in high school. Your supposed to be a grown man. You should show more dignity. But that of corse would be asking too much wouldn't it :rolleyes: ?
 
S

simon

Zero's Secretary
Joined
Oct 9, 2001
Posts
154
I remember a Simpsons episode were Bart gets punished for Thanksgiving. He ends up in a shetler for homeless people and gets paid to give his blood in a medical center. Can you also get paid easily for blood ( unless you deliberately give it to the Red Cross or another association ) ? I wonder if you get a premium when you are type O ?
 
T

trunks218

Edo Express Delivery Guy
Joined
Dec 25, 2001
Posts
344
Simon:
I remember a Simpsons episode were Bart gets punished for Thanksgiving. He ends up in a shetler for homeless people and gets paid to give his blood in a medical center. Can you also get paid easily for blood ( unless you deliberately give it to the Red Cross or another association ) ? I wonder if you get a premium when you are type O ?
Click to expand...
Type o is the most common blood type. AB- is the least common and it can go for $100.00 to $150.00 a pint.
 
bokmeow

bokmeow

Ned's Ninja Academy Dropout
Joined
Apr 11, 2002
Posts
11,314
All I got to say is, if they are looking for the sperm of Famous University Graduates, I gotta feel sorry for the woman who will receive George Dubya Bush's sperm when he sold it for some quick cash for Teh Hash.
 
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