Good Chuckle: Super Dodge Ball Review (non-neo ver) from 1988

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Blaine

Hinako's Cook
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Ha ha ha. I was just perusing old game reviews and I came across this one. I'm going to transcribe it here and then link to the scan (so we'll have the text for posterity).

Your Sinclair Magazine said:
When is a game of Basketball not a game of Basketball? When you suddenly realise that there are no baskets to shoot into!

At first sight I thought that Super Dodge Ball from the Technos Corporation was a good-looking one or two player basketball simulation, but it turned out that I was very much mistaken. The main problem is that it quickly becomes apparent that it's not basketball at all - so what sort of game is it?

As far as I can gather, the object is to pass the ball to a nominated player while the opposition attempt to make interceptions. For all the frenzied action that appears to ensue, there's never really a great deal happening and the whole thing rapidly becomes a prize bore.

The visual beauty is only screen deep too, as impressive graphics lose their shine when the dismal scrolling comes into effect. Sorry sports fans... even at 20p I can't really find anything in this one to make it worth recommending.

Convertability Factor: 7
But why bother?
Click to expand...

I'm going to have to file this one away for the next time a 'but it got a bad review' argument rears it's ugly head.

Link to the scan
 
norton9478

norton9478

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No wonder the Brits are Sissies...

No Dodgeball... Or Guns....
 
ForeverSublime

ForeverSublime

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Amazingly, SNK's Paddle Mania got a glowing review despite the US volleyball team appearing as CPU controlled opponents. As long as there's tennis on the screen the Brits are too busy being distracted to be confused. When is a tennis game not a tennis game?
 
B

Blaine

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I can't get enough of that review. I wish I could have been there watching him...

"Wait, where's the hoop?... there is no hoop! The hoop is a lie!!!!.... Then what do I do? Oh! look, I have mates on the other side of the court. Let's see... Oh! I threw it to one of them. Well that's scarcely fun. Why, the other team threw the ball hard at my team. Why would he do that? There's no point to this game. The other team did it again! And now my guy is unconscious. The computer isn't even attempting to pass it to his mates on the outside!"

I mean, how long could you possibly play it and not realize what you're actually supposed to do. In my mind, he was playing it for either 10 seconds or 2 hours, because both are funny.
 
ForeverSublime

ForeverSublime

6400|!!|Kyo Clone
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Blaine said:
I can't get enough of that review. I wish I could have been there watching him...

"Wait, where's the hoop?... there is no hoop! The hoop is a lie!!!!.... Then what do I do? Oh! look, I have mates on the other side of the court. Let's see... Oh! I threw it to one of them. Well that's scarcely fun. Why, the other team threw the ball hard at my team. Why would he do that? There's no point to this game. The other team did it again! And now my guy is unconscious. The computer isn't even attempting to pass it to his mates on the outside!"

I mean, how long could you possibly play it and not realize what you're actually supposed to do. In my mind, he was playing it for either 10 seconds or 2 hours, because both are funny.
Click to expand...

Change "mates" with "nominated player" and you're there.

The funniest part of the review is the "obsolete vernacular".
 
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