Stupid Things You Thought & Said/Did as a Kid

I was just sitting here thinking of stupid things i thought/said/did as a kid. Feel free to add your own.

1. Thought that if i dug a hole deep enough i'd end up in China.

2. That my vertical jump / speed was directly proportional to the cost of my shoes. (I had jordans and bo jackson's).

3. In elementary school the teachers would always say "this will go down on your permanent record". I thought I was screwed for life...

4. Thought I could fly like superman, so I jumped off the balcony at my parents house, and had to be rushed to the ER when I landed on the glass coffee table. Ouch.

5. Thought it was possible to jump over the flagpole in Super Mario Brothers, and a secret level awaited me.

6. That WWF wrestling was real.

7. Thought it would be cool to take a massive amount of caps from a cap gun into a pile infront of me, and slam a rock down on top of them. (I was deaf in one ear for 2 days afterward).

8. Planted some Tic-Tac's in the ground thinking i'd grow a tic-tac plant in the backyard with proper watering and fertilization.

Thats all i can think of at the moment.

6. That WWF wrestling was real.

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Every Pro Wrestling is fake...

1. If I dug a hole deep enough, I'd reach America (seriously, they pull that one on us in China, too =P)
2. Reproduction was performed by prayer
3. Girls also had a penis X_X

dragonwillow said:

3. Girls also had a penis X_X

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haha. I honestly thought I was the only one who had a penis when I was younger.

I also beleived the WWF to be true. One time Papa Shango pulled some voodoo on the Ultimate Warrior which made him twist and puke. I remember being scared shitless.

Umm, i am a Kid. Everything i do is stupid.

That Works.

Hecker said:

I also beleived the WWF to be true. One time Papa Shango pulled some voodoo on the Ultimate Warrior which made him twist and puke. I remember being scared shitless.

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Haha I was the exact same way. I must have been like 10 or so when it happened. I was almost crying because I thought he was dying.

We live fairly close to Niagara Falls so my family and I would go there a lot during the summer. There was a haunted house thing there that you walk through and it offers cheap little scares, but there was a fankenstein outside who would moan and move his arms up and down. I swear to god I thought he was real and I didn't want to look him in the eye because I thought he'd go after me.

I was 6 years old and I told my mom "I don't have to listen to you because you're a big, dumb girl!".

She whirrled around and gave me such a bitch slap I never spoke back to her since.

This oughta be interesting.

1. Called my mother an idiot.

2. Called my 4th Grade Teacher a SOB because she wouldn't give me back a Gamepro. Or was it EGM. I forget.

3. Got my ass whooped at my own birthday party.

4. Got into a fight twice in front of my own home and my folks didn't come to help.

5. Flashed my neighborhood friends.

6. Got double teamed at another birthday party just because the I told these bad ass kids to leave me alone.

7. Fell into my neighbor's pool and went home to watch Family Double Dare.

8. Had a cabinet fall on top of me. Thankfully, my neighbor's dad across the street came over and helped me even though my grandfather was disappointed in me. For what? I have no idea.

9. Gave away my Super Soaker 250.

10. Avoided some fine-ass Puerto Rican girl who was obsessed w/me while I was hanging out w/ friends at Busch Garderns. In fact, I was completely obviousand she eventually dated my best friend after a while.

11. Stay in Computer Programming I and failed even though I couldn't get out of the class for my folks wanted me to take a computer course every year. I didn't enjoy it and wanted to take Jazz Band, but alas.

Yeah, that's about it.

Hecker said:

I also beleived the WWF to be true. One time Papa Shango pulled some voodoo on the Ultimate Warrior which made him twist and puke. I remember being scared shitless.

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lmfao. Papa Shango scared the SHIT out of me all the time.

I used to think:
- Stuffed animals were in fact, alive, but only when I wasn't around.
- That if I pulled my legs up under me fast enough, I'd float in mid-air
- That it was possible to walk on water if you were "careful" enough
- That "indian clay" was really clay that Native Americans used
- One time my local library had a flyer for yoga classes being taught in the mornings (this was way before the whole yoga craze of the late 90s/early 00s) and I thought I'd sign up and learn to breathe fire and stretch my arms 9 feet in front of me.

Thats all I can remember right now.

I agree with Neo Mikes #2. I thought in elementry school that when I had new shoes it made me run faster.

Buro Destruct said:

- One time my local library had a flyer for yoga classes being taught in the mornings (this was way before the whole yoga craze of the late 90s/early 00s) and I thought I'd sign up and learn to breathe fire and stretch my arms 9 feet in front of me.

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When I was about 2 I used to get up on the window sil naked and dance so that people in the street could see me.

Once when I was about 4 I was at a party and Freddy Starr was there. I went up to him and said 'I don't like you' and kicked him in the leg

Fell asleep on my bike once and went into a fence

The most I did was scream when the Undertaker locked the Ultimate Warrior in the casket on Prime Time Wrestling back in the day

My twin brother was just stupid and gulliable....we just to get him to jump off the house, run through fire barefoot, sit down in the road...hell he was our BB gun target practice.

1.> When I was 2 yrs old I thought Evangeliest "Robert Shuler" was GOD broadcasting on television. And said as such to my parents who tried to correct me on the issue.
2.> In Pre-K I told Mrs. Garcia "I'm going to grow up and marry you." like two or three times a day. And I had this obsession with her feet and didn't realize it was a foot fetish.
3.> In the first grade I used to chase this one girl Shelly around, and told her stuff like: "You can run but you can't hide" and though a bit more with it than in Pre-K still didn't understand where this animal lust was coming from (and no I was never molested before anyone asks).
4.> I actually believed that Jake The Snake Roberts went blind during that whole WWF schtig between him and that Candian Mountee (however that's spelled) during the late 80's.
5.> Was crushed after having met Sgt. Slaughter @ the 1990 Car Show in SATX and hanging out with him, and seeing a match live a year before that, to see him in 1991 become some Middle Eastern Terrorist. It didn't click that it was all fake just yet.
6.> I really believed we'd all be living in bubble colonies on the lunar surface by now, and that at least one star ship would be zooming throughout are solar system colonizing the planets.
7.> I really thought sometime before the 90's America would be invaded by the Soviet Union and we'd get to kill some commies... didn't happen sadly.
8.> I never thought or George Michael was a fag. I just figured he had bad taste in wardrobe like almost everyone in the 80's. By the time he announced his "Gayness" I had figured it out. But from WHAM to about '93 I just thought he was different.
9.> I believed the movies like Class of 1984 and 1990: The Bronx Warriors, and thought going to high school was going to be a life of studying between trying to survive a quasi Fist of the North Star meets Double Dragon enviorment. Strangely enough my Junior High days weren't too far from it... only to get to highschool and the school was ultra lame.

MERCENARY X99

Some more dumb things I did as a kid. Boy, wrestling is such a trip when you look at it through th eyes of a kid.

12. I was afraid of ship horns, the Whammy on Press your Luck, and the sound of yodeling i.e. Cliffhanger on The Price is Right.

13. I really thought the Undertaker died in that Royal Rumble Casket Match against Yokozuna when it took 20 guys to close the casket on him.

14. I was scared as hell when Doink's first gimmick, the evil clown one, debuted on Monday Night Raw.

15. I thought Razor Ramon was actually Hispanic.

16. My mother would snatch me out of the arcade everytime she caught me saying damnit. Oddly enough, this happened everytime I played a Konami beat'em up.

I thought that the yankees were going to suck for my entire lifetime. And I thought that nobody would ever again check a balot box that read "George Bush: President"

these are all from my youngin years like 8-10 yrs old.

i thought eating canned spinach gave you an instant inhuman strength boost. I did it a couple times and immediately checked my biceps.

i thought pissing in a girls hooch would result in extraordinary happenings, perhaps some sort of alien, superhuman, or garbage pail-like baby to get born. i remember thinking about it for the better part of my elementary years and wondering why nobody has ever tried it before.

i thought HUFFY was the premier bike maker and didnt understand why people laughed at me when i took it BMX racing. the squeeking of all the joints/parts just meant I was riding really REALLY fast.

ages 13-15 I wanted to be layne staley so bad. I had his hair and sungla
sses and even a long wierd looking peach fuzz goate. thinking back I really wish i had picks of this thing cuz it only grew on my chin and i never cut it so it was a couple inches long and it was BLONDE almost WHITE which was wierd. Didnt get a beard til I was 18 or so.

i spit on a ton of heads and threw water baloons a people and passing cars from atop the balcony at my high school. One time we tried to make "piss baloons" but the ballons would neither fit over our penis nor could we produce enough pressure to fill them up. We did this all during class time (can i go to the bathroom?) and a couple times security actually came in, pulled us out of class and and gave us a lecture and detention.

Hidden Character said:

This oughta be interesting.

1. Called my mother an idiot.

2. Called my 4th Grade Teacher a SOB because she wouldn't give me back a Gamepro. Or was it EGM. I forget.

3. Got my ass whooped at my own birthday party.

4. Got into a fight twice in front of my own home and my folks didn't come to help.

5. Flashed my neighborhood friends.

6. Got double teamed at another birthday party just because the I told these bad ass kids to leave me alone.

7. Fell into my neighbor's pool and went home to watch Family Double Dare.

8. Had a cabinet fall on top of me. Thankfully, my neighbor's dad across the street came over and helped me even though my grandfather was disappointed in me. For what? I have no idea.

9. Gave away my Super Soaker 250.

10. Avoided some fine-ass Puerto Rican girl who was obsessed w/me while I was hanging out w/ friends at Busch Garderns. In fact, I was completely obviousand she eventually dated my best friend after a while.

11. Stay in Computer Programming I and failed even though I couldn't get out of the class for my folks wanted me to take a computer course every year. I didn't enjoy it and wanted to take Jazz Band, but alas.

Yeah, that's about it.

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dude, that's so fucked up

I was also in on that whole shoe thing. Karl Malone catapults would make you jump 6 inches higher. That's a fact.... I thought.

When I was very little, I also thought that my grandparents literally lived during the dinasaurs. On top of such idiocy, I remember wondering if they had a pet dinasaur, much like Dino from the Flintstones.

I thought that the top of Illinois must have been an ocean, as the maps I had seen showed nothing else above it... it was logic.

I took a little pepper seed of of my pizza and planted it, assuming that I would grow a mighty pizza plant one day.

I assumed, as most here, that we would all be going to different planets very very soon in the future. Here it is, 2005, and we don't even wear matching silver suits yet. What a fuckin' rip off.

I thought that perhaps Pinnochio was based somewhat on reality when it came to telling lies and nose length.

roker said:

dude, that's so fucked up

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In case you were wondering, yes, I was a bad ass kid. I didn't straighten up and fly right until late 7th-8th Grade. If you could see me know, you'd be surprised just how much I changed in a decade.

i was thinking my dream was a real world ! a another world ! well i was really young

Neo Mike said:

I was just sitting here thinking of stupid things i thought/said/did as a kid. Feel free to add your own.

6. That WWF wrestling was real.

Click to expand...

Haha I remember when Hulk Hogan was attacked by Earthquake and they made it seem like Hulk was seriously hurt. They even had an address for all us Hulkamaniacs to send him a card. Of coruse I sent him one.

I used to watch the Power Rangers.

I'll never forgive myself.

About the Papa Shango thing.

Everyone I know was scared of him as a child (my best friend used to change the channel when Papa Shango would come on SERIOUSLY)

So that's pretty common place and at the time the WWF catered mainly to young children instead of teens and the redneck set so that was one of the main reasons they ditched the character if I remember reading that correctly.

Kids used to worship the Undertaker so that kind of fear Papa Shango was probably a little suprising to WWF executives.
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The dumbest thing I did as a child was get a crayon stuck in my ear when I was about four or five.

From ages 9-13 I was the neighborhood pyro/mischevious bastard, who was really into things like fireworks, smoke bombs, cherry bombs and non-combustable items that would cause trouble stink bombs and itching powder.

Looking back on it now, I'm amazed that I survived my childhood with all my fingers intact and that I never accidently caused a major fire.

I used to belive that pencil lead contained actual lead and one time, in the fourth grade, one of my classmates stabbed me with a pencil. I cried for hours and hours. Not because it hurt (it did) but because I was scared and I thought that I was going to slowly die of lead poisioning (I got that fucker back later that year, nailed him a punch that nearly broke his jaw).


From ages 6-13, any mention of magic, dragons, wizards, UFOs, ghosts, biblical "miracles," parapsychology or the occult would piss be off to no end and would start me off on a Jr skeptic's rant on how such a thing is not possible. (ironicly, my favorite movie at the time was Ghostbusters)