The Batman Strikes #1 is an insult to kids

bokmeow

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I saw a stack of The Batman Strikes 1st issue in my public library today; I can only assume that these were left by a DC stooge to hook kids onto buying the comics with a monthly subscription, or Wizards of the Coast stoolies trying to hook kids onto buying their TCGs because there was a LOT of Wizard of the Coast advertisements every 2 pages. Like the other man, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth at first blush, so I brought it home to read at my own leisure.

My leisure time was totally wasted. This comic book was a POS.

I can't ask for my money back, but time is money, and I want my time back!
 

Kazuki Dash

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they made another BatMan title? geez, how many Dark Knight related books do they need to have? luckily I've been way out of the loop comic-wise so my ignorance is bliss...

so what about this title constituted it to be teh suck?
 

Domino-chan

, Certified Gamer Chick,
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Yeah, now I'm curious too. What made this Batman title blow?
 

bokmeow

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I didn't want to write out the synopsis, as that would be wasting further valuable time for this piece of stool, but here goes:

A bunch of posh high society elites come to a museum to check out the Egyptian exhibits that are reserved only for the very high eschelons of society. As the door opens, fucking seagulls fly out and scare the crap out of these snobs, as they scream stupid shit like "GET OUT BEFORE WE'RE EATEN ALIVE!" And who's behind the flock of killer seagulls? Why, The Penguin of course! He's in the museum to steal 'The Phoenix Drawings.' Before The Penguin could take the laser fitted to his umbrella on the old museum dodger, Batman arrives on the scene to save him. Of course, Penguin gets away, and Batman goes back to his cave to hunt down Penguin's trail. How does he do this? He enters the places that The Penguin recently conducted a string of robberies, and when connected together they draw the picture of a Phoenix! Fucking oldest cliche in cheesy cartoons!! I fail to mention that the comic uses a ton of terrible one-liners.

The worst, most unforgivable insult is The Penguin turns out to have been committing a string of robberies to collect parts TO BUILD A FUCKING PENGUIN PHOENIX MECHA! Yes, you read correctly, A FUCKING PENGUIN PHOENIX MECHA! WTF is a PENGUIN PHOENIX? Don't forget that the string of robberies he committed is in the pattern of a phoenix!

What a piece of garbage. I wish I had never read this comic, otherwise known as a total insult to one-celled microbes!
 

SouthtownKid

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This is the comic based on the new version tv cartoon, right? The one that has that weird-ass looking Joker. Bleh
 

Kazuki Dash

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SouthtownKid said:
This is the comic based on the new version tv cartoon, right? The one that has that weird-ass looking Joker. Bleh

*slaps forehead*
no wonder it sucks then
:loco:
 

bokmeow

Ned's Ninja Academy Dropout
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SouthtownKid said:
This is the comic based on the new version tv cartoon, right? The one that has that weird-ass looking Joker. Bleh

Yup, based on the new version TV cartoon. The story stinks, the artwork stinks, and the shameless advertising blitz stinks.
 

genjiglove

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I was actually excited about the prospect of a new Batman cartoon.
 

Hikaru Ichijyo

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Kazuki Dash said:
they made another BatMan title? geez, how many Dark Knight related books do they need to have? luckily I've been way out of the loop comic-wise so my ignorance is bliss...

so what about this title constituted it to be teh suck?

Are you talking strictly Batman books or Batman "Family" books?

There's....

Batman
Detective Comics starring Batman
Batman: Legends of the the Dark Knight
Batman: Gotham Knights (or Nights...I can't remember)
The Batman Strikes! (non canon, based off the cartoon just like Batman: TAS was)

Then there's....
Robin
Nightwing
Batgirl
Birds of Prey (has former Batgirl Barbara Gordon now called Oracle and the Huntress)

What DC should do, and they would NEVER do it, is in order to clear some clutter on the stands, they could consolidate Robin, Nightwing, and Batgirl into a "Batman Family" book, with each character getting 8 pages of story apiece (with like 8 pages of ads). Hell,they could put it out bi-weekly to boot.
 

SouthtownKid

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Hikaru Ichijyo said:
What DC should do, and they would NEVER do it, is in order to clear some clutter on the stands, they could consolidate Robin, Nightwing, and Batgirl into a "Batman Family" book, with each character getting 8 pages of story apiece (with like 8 pages of ads). Hell,they could put it out bi-weekly to boot.
They tried something similar in Action comics a decade or 2 ago, and it failed miserably. I'd love for them to go to some kind of anthology format, but it just doesn't seem to work here. I can't think of a single American anthology book that's been what I would call successful (within my lifetime), lasting any real amount of time here (still too early to tell how Jump is doing, and Raijin is eating shit). Weekly comics are a hard sale to Americans, not the least reason being that american comics are way too freaking expensive to begin with. Japanese comics can do it because of much cheaper production costs (black and white on newsprint, etc.), and the studio system used in Japan.

English comics like 2000 AD might be an okay model to follow, but I think there are less jobs and less money to go around to creators that way, so they'd probably resist it. Just look at all the British talent that jumped to US comics: Moore, Ennis, Bolland, Gibbons, Alan Grant, Dillon, Fabry, Bisley, Morrison, Quietly, Sean Phillips, etc..

As for bi-weekly: even if they could convince people to buy a bi-weekly, I think it's hard enough to tell a story in 22 pages a month. Drop that to 16 a month, that's about the length of an average Japanese comic per WEEK. Not long enough to have any kind of character development (not that there really is anyway, but that's another topic). Will Eisner was the only American in history I can remember that could tell consistantly entertaining 7 or 8 page stories week after week.

I do agree that they need to cut down on clutter, though.
 
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