The Roommate from Hell

http://www.thingie.net/rants/what/

I don't see how this guy could possibly put up with all of that. I sure as hell couldn't.

I don't see how he didn't kill him right at the end.

I know I would have fucking bludgeoned his ass to death, and there's no court on this earth that would have convicted me.

I once had a roomate named Ismar he was a Muslim Bosnian refugee.
I had seen him around in our industry for a couple of years and knew he was very talented. He was fluent in i dunno I think six languages a very bright guy.
We ended up working at the same company at one point in time and I had been hearing rumors that he had been sleeping in the office or in company vehicles like custom vans.
I had a two bedroom townhouse so I invited him to stay with me. At his request I got him digital cable with hbo and his own phone line but he wouldnt let me setup furniture in his room. He kept insisting that in this next couple days he was going to go buy his own bed ect. I told him the rules where pretty simple he had free reign over anywhere in the house except my bedroom. There were hundereds of movies , video games a decent stereo system and a television with cable and he was free to use my computer with internet acess. He was welcome to anything in the fridge ect. I had guns, financial papers ect in my room thats why I didint want him rooting around in it.
Now I shoud have taken this as a hint as to what his problems were but I didn't.. Ismar made very good money the first month he lived with me he made $8,000 take home..net..after taxes. Pretty damned good for a refugee or any other American. My parents went through 6-8 years of college at very decent schools and make a fraction of that. He would spend his entire paycheck at casinos and on cocaine. How I dont know but he did. We are are not talking about Las Vegas these are local places where you can only bet a nickel to $5 at a time.
He liked to watch this show caled Oz it disturbed me but he never missed an episode so id have to go do other stuff. I started catching himusing stuff he had taken out of my bedroom and this made me upset. Like knives ect. He had stopped showing up for work and was making up excuses. I had many talks with him that he was choosing the wrong path and wasting alot of talent.
One day after he owed me for going on two months of rent I got home and found the sofa warm the place was totally trashed and he had been avoiding me probably because he was tired of my talks. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water or somthing and the sink sounded funny. I turned on the light and found the sink was caved in and all the pipes and disposal system were broken. I went to best buy to get a new disposal and home depot and got pipes support system ect. I dont who/how the sink got broken but I was sure Ismar knew and he should have told me.
I was getting tired of this so I went to see if he was upstairs in his room. No answer. I went into his room to see if he had overdosed or get some sort of clue as to what was going on. Inside his room I found my belonings from my bedroom strewn all over. Namely small bright shiny objects, knives, pornography and items that were used or could be converted easily for drug parephenilia. I was pissed !! In the corner a quarter of the room was empty alcohol bottles that looked like a shrine with an ashtray in the middle with cigarettes burns all around it where he was messed up and had missed the ashtray.
I was so pissed I put the message on his answering machine I let him borrow that"Ismar doesnt live here anymore" I thought for sure this would get his attention. Well by the next night after I got home from work I still hadnt heard from him and was still pissed so I changed the locks on the doors and then gathered up his belongings and put them in boxes and covered them with plastic
and put them in the front yard by the door. He didnt have anything of any value just some used work clothes oh yeah and womens pantys. I had found panty wrappers all over the house and assumed he had women over when i wasnt home but it appears he had some sort of weird fetish for them exactly what i'd rather not know.
I got on the horn and told people to tell Ismar he was kicked out and to come get his stuff. About two days later his mom calls me from across the country and asks me why I kicked Ismar out. I told her that he owed me at least $900 for the last two months rent we wasnt and didnt want to work , he has problems (without getting into specifics) and most of all he kept going into my bedroom when i wasnt home and digging/taking my stuff after the tenth time I told him not to. She said she knows he has problems she believes he was late paying rent but doesnt believe me that he keeps going through my stuff. (at least this is what I think she said english is a second langauge to her and she wasnt a slick talker like her son) I said I didnt care what she thought and what do I have to gain by lying to her? Then kindly said it was nice talking to her and hung up the phone.
Ismar finally came by a couple days later and picked up his stuff I chatted with him for a couple minutes and he was on his way. I dont know if its true or not but last time I heard he had been doing cocain in a hotub with several women and they all passed out when Ismar awoke two of the women had drowned he called the police and they arrested him. When placed before a judge he claimed diplomatic immunity. Ismar was not a diplomat in fact im 90% sure he was an illegal alien. The judge laughed at him and said ill show you immunity and threw him on a plane headed back to Bosnia.

Well at least he didnt shit all over the place like that other guys roomate.

Jeez, those are two pretty nasty tales of housemate-hell.
Makes what I have to put up with (one guy that never tidies his own room and another guy that sounds like he's hocking up hairballs while he brushes his teeth at 2am - otherwise they are both fine) seem like paradise.

Mind you, I'm the kinda person that really treasures their solitude.

just wow. great story, true or not.

I have a roommate that owes us $2000 in rent and has yet to pay up

Holy shit, man - you guys are some tolerant mother fuckers. I'll just say that.

I get pissed when my roommate stacks glasses sideways in the dishwasher, or leaves his dishes in the sink.

It's reasons like that I don't have roommates

I actually read that entire thing.

Absolutely unbelievable.

I think he was taking shits in the bathtub and covering it with newspapers, like some kind of foul lasagna.

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genius.

ascertain

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You should shit on his bed. That would teach him a lesson...

I have the roomate from hell.

My roommate in my dorm room:

Has the hairiest, nastiest back and neck that I have ever seen and it sheds everywhere, especially in the shower. His nasty fat hairy back is in my face if I turn to the right since he always types on his computer which is right next to mine with no shirt on, just his boxers. I cleaned the bathroom since he never cleans shit and it was disgusting. Piss and hair all over, mostly all of it from him. He didn't even say thanks to me for what I did.

Never stops talking, and it is always about stupid shit to make him look cool. He brought a big large picture of his ugly ass in his HS football uniform and hung it on the wall on his side of the room and he told me he was making a shrine for himself.

If he spots me at going into someones dorm he will try to follow and meet the person as well and annoy the shit out of them after two minutes of his blabber. Some people in my dorm community asked me to IM them when he is comming to their home so they don't open the door.

One time I was asleep and he didn't know I was in the room so he left the door open when he was shitting, it was the nastiest sounding thing I have ever heard.

He snores extremely loud and it seems every time he takes a breath out during the night he slowly farts.

Girls used to invite me up to their dorms all the time, on day I asked why they can't come to mine and they told me it is because of your nasty roommate. My current GF can't stand him either. He told her when she comes back from Japan after this winter to be careful and check herself before coming in our room in case she has SARS. The stupidass doesn’t even know that it doesn’t exist in Japan, mainly it is in Hong Kong.

He talks about all these success stories with women that he has had but I can not see it since he is the ugliest, nastiest, stereotype of the fat American that I have ever seen in my life. Every time he tells me a girl is coming over there is always an excuse to why she doesn’t show.

All of my suite mates hate him and they don’t understand how I can bare living with him.

He thinks he knows everything about computers and pretty much any other subject and he seems to know or have met everyone in the world. Though I know it is total bullshit.

He has no skill or respect for any games, in everything he does he just mashes all the buttons as fast as possible. He owns every shitty game in existence, I mean tons of them since his family is rich and just let him have their credit card to use for the entire semester.

He blasts out the shittiest music constantly such as the Lion King Theme song, Football fight themes, and Afro Man...

Luckily he is the biggest pussy ever so he has drive home in his gas guzzling truck to go and see his mommy every weekend which is great for me since I don't have to see him for 2-3 days.

Luckily I put a request in to change rooms so next semester I won't have to see him ever again unless he happens to be in one of my classes.

Neo Maikeru said:

I have the roomate from hell.

My roommate in my dorm room:

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Wow, that describes me and/or Nesagwa.

Tom Wopat said:

Wow, that describes me and/or Nesagwa.

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Haha, I doubt that you are that bad.

Xavier said:

I once had a roomate named Ismar he was a Muslim Bosnian refugee.....

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...

Slobo was right.




Anyways, roomates aren't too bad when they're of the opposite sex. Seriously.

2 guys = shithole.

2 girls = constant bitchfighting.

1 guy/1 girl = insecurites, noone overstepping their bounds. And possible fucking if you're lucky/attractive/have no standards.


I'm like a south eastern Euro, who speaks the queen's english....and my roomate was half-white/half philipino; she was totally fucking ghetto.

The worst thing she ever did was fuck around with 3+guys in her room all night while I was trying to sleep after a hard nights work....

I woke up at 4am and I coud still hear her through my wall. She'd be all like: "unnnnhhhh, oh yeah baby" and the guys would be like: "aw fuck jeah, u like diz? hahahaha, oooooohhhhhh maaaaaannnn"

And I was like: " "

THE END

In high school my parents bought a 3 bedroom house a couple blocks away that they let me stay in, and said I could get a couple roomates. What a disaster. After a cum-stained pillow, shitty underwear on the ceiling fan, and piss in the corner they got the big boot. God, I don't want to go into the details, but you never realize what shitheads your friends can really be when you're around them 24/7.

He got angry at some video game he and his friends were playing in the common area, so he busted into my room while I was sleeping, and punched me in the face and stomach.

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Oh god YES.

Sp0o/\/?! said:

...

Slobo was right.
THE END

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Thats pretty harsh

Xavier said:

Thats pretty harsh

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Haha.

I kid. I judge people on a person to person basis. Not their nationality or even their families for that matter.

Makes sense....

Shirt in a Can said:

genius.

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that's the one sentence i copied to quote in this thread, but you beat me to it.

shit lasagna = roffles.